pity party

I told you it was too good to be true. I knew I should have killed that nasty little spark of hope when I had the chance. Damn the people who cultivated it and encouraged me to let it grow. I knew I was just being set up for a heart break. It's never not happened yet. Ever. In my whole life. Why do I think that it will ever ever change?  He was not flirting- he is not interested- he made that abundantly clear today by not even acknowledging my existence. He was being nice that day. That's all. That's all it ever was. That's all it ever will be.

Yes I'm aware I justed used a double negative. I did it on purpose.

My favorite movie when I have the romantic blues- or need a gentle reminder- is He's Just Not That into You. I'm not the exception. I'm the rule. And the line that I need to have tattooed on my forehead is, "If a guy acts like he doesn't give a $#!+, it's because he genuinely doesn't give a $#!+"

Truer words have never been spoken- and I don't know why I allow myself to think- hope- that maybe he does and he's just playing it cool. Come on, it's me. There is no man on this planet who will ever give a $#!+ about me. Ever.

End of story. I win the argument. Go home to your spouse.

The end.

My heart had a nice little five day vacation, now it's time to lock it back up so it doesn't stumble around and get hurt any more.