Friday, January 6, 2017

Facebook Status Highlights 2016


That awkward moment when the dating website matches you up with a kid you used to babysit. It didn't happen... I'm just saying it would be awkward.

Today did not got at all according to plan. From getting released from three callings I love and getting one I don't want, To the wifi not working at church so I didn't have access to the lesson I prepared, to the new recipe I tried for dinner being only mediocre. Is it Monday yet?

I know it sounds snobbish- but I have a hard time shopping on a website with spelling errors.

Two years. It's been two years. Two years without my best friend.

I've never wanted to punch an old lady until today. Sitting here listening to her criticize the funeral for Officer Barney. If he were your son, your tune would be so different. Thank God for the boys in blue!

A big Facebook shoutout to my parents Craige and La Rae Baker. 50 years ago today they became parents. I'm just sorry that Melanie didn't quite make it to the big 5-0. No parent should have to lose a child. As much as we miss all miss her, we're ever so grateful that she broke them in for the rest of us who followed. Happy momiversary! Happy dadiversary!


When did I become that person who falls asleep sitting up and snores in public? That's not at all embarrassing.

I look forward to the day I don't have to scrape my windows. #ThinkSpring

I have no food in my house… All I have is ingredients. #FirstWorldProblems

Word to the wise: stuff bakes a lot faster if you actually put it *in* the oven, rather than leaving it sitting on the stove and walking away. #BakersBakingFail

This is the most boringest Oscars I've ever seen. So boring that I've stooped to creating new words. And yet here I sit... Still watching it.


Lost my book mark. Guess I'll just have to read all night till the book is finished. Awww shucks....

At work today two rather handsome gentlemen came in to meet with one of the radiologists. She wasn't quite ready for them and asked me to tell them to wait for one minute then go into her office. Guy: "She wants us to wait for one minute?" 
Me: "yes. Wait one minute. Count to sixty. If that's too hard count to thirty twice." I was being silly, but as I walked away it dawned on me... "Aaaahh... *thats* why I'm single."

I just bought the stuff to make this cake! Anyone wanna come try it out? Incidentally, Im getting new carpet and need help moving some furniture from one room to another.

Is the knowledge of Pi a rare thing? I always thought it was pretty common knowledge. All day as I've been talking about Pi day Ive gotten blank stares. Even when I say, "you know, 3.14...?" Nothing. I mean, sure, when I say ROUNDED pi, which is 3.1416 (which, ok look, is today's date) that could get confusing but... I don't know. Hooray for my nerdy friends who will understand what I'm talking about and celebrate with me. Now... To go eat my rounded pi(e).

Huh... Turns out following the directions is an important part of a recipe. #BakersBakingFail#FutureObjectLesson #IWantMyMommy


On a scale from 1-10 today sucked at about a 15.

It's confirmed! I have a date with the coolest gal in town tonight! ME!!! I have a me date! What to wear.....

I've done enough adulting today. If anyone needs me I'll be coloring in my blanket fort.


Wanna have a good day? Have a Tuesday. Tuesday's are always good.

Went to hot hula with Olga Niko Davidson... And may not recover. But it was worth it!

I am LOVING all these Mother's Day posts. That is not the least bit sarcastic. It feels like the Internet is filled with love and gratitude today. Yay moms!!!

Volleyball was cancelled again. If you have a death wish- cross my path.

"All human beings -male and female- are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose..."

It's amazing how a comfy pair of new shoes can improve one's outlook on life.

Meeting with Bishop Robertson. Maybe today's the day I get released from my calling! #fingerscrossed#notgonnahappen #kiddingnotkidding

It's a new PR! Salt Lake City to Nampa in 4 hours and 45 minutes!


I have the headache that keeps on giving...

I miss my ER friends who will eat my cookies no matter how badly I screw them up. Incidentally, I'm bringing cookies to work tomorrow. πŸͺπŸͺπŸͺ

Today (Tuesday) is National Tall Girl Appreciation Day. So for the next 24 hours I'm going to sit back and let you appreciate me.

Sitting here playing on Family Search and finally, FINALLY found my Scottish blood! Heather, we need to talk, I'm a Lindsay!!!

I'm speaking in church tomorrow and it seems that everything on the Internet is more interesting than the talk I'm supposed to be preparing...

Today was not my favorite day. Did anything good happen in the world today? Share your good news with me. I need a lift.


Philosophical question: If a person falls on her face in the middle of a crowd and no one reacts, is it still embarrassing?

I know next to nothing about Pokemon. I know it's a cartoon and that's about it. And I've never been a Band-Wagoner... But I have to admit I'm *almost* tempted to see what all the fuss is about. *almost*

Ugh... Why can't we all just get along? πŸ’”πŸ‡«πŸ‡·πŸ˜’

Tonight I played volleyball like it was meant to be played.

I can't even begin to describe how much I don't want to go to work today.

Woke up from a dream (nightmare?) that Trump had chosen Bill Clinton as his running mate. I can't even escape ridiculous politics in my sleep. πŸ˜–


I've been watching Hulu and Netflix for so long I forgot what it was like to watch tv with commercials. Ugh! #firstworldproblems #olympicjunkie

Anxiety is nothing new to me. Whatever. It's become a part of daily life. But I can usually pinpoint the root of my anxiety and deal with it. Days like today where there is no known cause, all I can do is whine about it on Facebook and look for some online solace.
It's probably over something stupid I did in the past and can't fix now. There's nothing like stressing about stupid stuff over which you have no control.
Also, there is a gigantic flying creature in my bathroom. And I alone am responsible for its demise. If it doesn't pay rent, it doesn't get to live here.

I've been taught that when I have bad thoughts that I should replace them with a hymn. So what happens when the annoying thought *is* a hymn? My brain is stuck on replay and I can't get the song out!!!


How's this for logic: if I go to bed, tomorrow will come faster. I don't want tomorrow to come, therefore I will stay awake all night and watch the clock for when I have to start getting ready for work and then be a tired, grouchy beast all day.

Sand volleyball is the cheapest, yet most painful pedicure I've ever had. Worth it.

Oh look... It's Monday.

Today? While it hasn't been a bad day... It's just one of those "I'd rather be at Disneyland" days.

Me: "I really need to get stuff done for my party tonight. Oh look, I just won two hours of unlimited lives on this mindless game. I'll just play a little while longer. [1 hour 53 minutes later] Oh good, time is almost up and I can get things done." 

[advances to next level] 

Game: "congratulations! You just won 24 hours of unlimited lives!"


Thank you for all the birthday wishes! I feel sufficiently loved. It was not the greatest birthday ever (once you've had a birthday at Disneyland it's kind of hard to recover) but nor was it the worst (that was the one where I spent the day at my Uncle's funeral). Another year checked off the list. Still looking for a travel companion for next year's BIG ONE. (although I would be perfectly content having no more birthdays.)

I haven't worked retail in 15 years. At Freddy's we had an aisle in toys with lots of pegged items. We dubbed it the "pig aisle" because it was always a nightmare to straighten. Now imagine an entire store of the peg aisle and you'll have an inkling of what my new part time job is like. Also my nighttime supervisor is 18. 

It'll be worth it once I'm on that airplane... Right?

That awkward moment when your best friend has been married 20 years and you've still never been on a date. 

A reminder to all coworkers, friends and family, present and future. If at any time a handsome Scottish man needs assistance or directions, you are to immediately disappear and *I* will take care of it. That is all.

Ummm... I am a fiercely independent person... But when it comes to car trouble I really don't know what to do. I'm supposed to be at work, but instead I'm just sitting here, waiting to hear the rustlings of a neighbor to ask for a jump. I know how to do it, and I have the equipment... Just not another car to use. One of the hazards of living too far away from family that you are comfortable enough to wake up and make them help you.

I've had my car for 6 years (ish) and never had a real problem with it that I couldn't take care of. I just find it interesting that literally THREE days after I pay it off, it dies. This ladies and gentlemen, is the story of my life. #ThisIsWhyICantHaveNiceThings
But she's fixed now. Luckily it wasn't a major issue.

Not to take away from real problems like death and pestilence.... But do you have any idea how depressing it is to get home from the store and realize the package of Oreos you just bought is NOT double stuf?

It's me vs the machines and the machines are winning.


Why? Why has EVERYONE been to Disneyland this year except me!?!

To cook or eat leftovers? That is the question.

My address doesn't exist... They won't let me vote. #electionday #waitinginlineisawesome

Best tweet I've ever seen in my life: "If Trump replaces Obama, does that mean Orange is the new black?"

If I had a dollar for every time the words "I don't care" entered my brain, I'd be sooooooo rich.

Only 33 more sleeps until the days start getting longer. #thinkspring

Thankful for what I have, but still wishing to be at Disneyland.


I spent the evening buying Christmas presents... For myself. #thatsthespirit

I spent the day buying Christmas gifts. This time they were for other people.... And myself. #thatsthespirit #tistheseason

My kittens sneeze constantly. I think they're allergic to cats. πŸ˜Ή

This has always been my favorite:

"O that I were an angel, and could have the wish of mine heart, that I might go forth and speak with the trump of God, with a voice to shake the earth, and cry repentance unto every people!
Yea, I would declare unto every soul, as with the voice of thunder, repentance and the plan of redemption, that they should repent and come unto our God, that there might not be more sorrow upon all the face of the earth." Alma 29: 1-2

I was going to go Christmas shopping, but then I realized I have no money. To those of you whose gifts I haven't gotten... Sorry. All you're getting from me this year is a hug. πŸ˜’πŸ’ΈπŸ’ΈπŸ’ΈπŸŽ„πŸŽ

Seasons greetings! Happy winter solstice! Now the days will start getting longer!! #thinkspring

Alright crazy cat friends (you know who you are), I'm being mauled to death by tiny critters. I don't believe in declawing cats, what do I do to keep from being kitty chow? Are the weird little claw covers worth it?