Tuesday, July 30, 2013

That's a nice story, Grandma: Camping edition

It makes me sad that I actually start some conversations with "Back in my day..." I just feel so flippin old when I say stuff like that. Anyway...

My nieces recently went to girls camp. They go to the same camp that I went to when I was their age (well, two of them do- the other lives somewhere else and they have a different camp). The came back telling me of all the changes that have happened up there. There are actual flushing toilets! And real hot and cold showers.

That just boggles my mind! That's not camping! When *I* went camping we had latrines. Super stinky, leaky latrines. After my fourth year though I learned not to bad-mouth them. On my fourth year hike they took us up Soda Peak and made us dig an 18 inch hole and go in that for two days. Icky story short, I held it for two days. I couldn't go- even if I tried. I vowed never to be ungrateful for a latrine again.

And if we wanted a shower (which were new in my day- even my sisters didn't have that during their years), we had to haul a log up to the shower stalls to keep the the fire going if we wanted warm water. You had to shower in your bathing suit because the wall slats were far enough apart to peak into- and you had to beware of falling buckets of ice water because there were no ceilings. (for the record- I was never party to the said dumping of ice water on certain people) (on a completly different, unrelated note, sometimes I lie).

Camp wasn't camp unless it rained. Hard. I'm talking "everyone get out your shovels and trench around your tent" rain. In fact, a few years ago (I think I actually blogged about this) when I went as a leader, It rained and thundered and lightening-ed so much, that half the camp blew away and my tent was completely flattened. But that's one of my favorite stories from that not so awesome experience! We'd be wet for days- with shoes sitting (and sometimes melting) on the rocks surrounding the fire- trying to dry them out. Mud everywhere (you needed at least three showers once you got home).
The crafts were always cheesy but fun- and the games and the pranks and the stories and songs- I loved it all- but still, we had to rough it. I still remember a lot of the songs- not the ones that *everyone* sings, but the ones that we wrote for our own skits.

Esther's in the cellar,
Golly can't ya smell her,
cakin on that heavy perfume?
She's gotta look the better,
to take the King a letter,
to save all the Jews from their doom

The girls today have similar experiences- the songs, the tents, the pranks... well, not so much the pranks because everyone is so easily offended that it's not fun anymore. It just bugs me that they have it so easy at camp. But then again, I don't come from a very outdoorsy family. I was telling my aunt today that other than ward camp outs, I don't remember *ever* camping with my family. I guess my mom had a no so awesome experience camping early on in my parent's marriage and she vowed never to do that crap again.

I know it's from her that I get my "anything less than three stars is roughing it for me," attitude. I like being out in nature just as much as anyone- but why do we have to pretend to be homeless? I have a bed. Can't I spend time in the mountains and then sleep in a real bed?

Which brings me to another point (yes, mom- this is where I whine about my deprived childhood [roll eyeballs]. I have always had friends who talk about going camping with their families every year. They go to their cabin- or they go to the lake or boating or whatever they call it. Here I always thought they were all so rustic- but it turns out that cabins are really nice! Cabins are just houses in the woods! I could get used to that! I always pictured a cabin as like... well, like what pioneers lived in. You know- just a stack of logs for a shelter. So they stayed under logs instead of a tent. NO! It turns out that these places are actual houses in the woods- with running water- and dishes and stoves and flushing toilets! and BEDS! *Real* beds! *Anyone* can get used to that kind of camping. Of course they could!

And my friends from other states who had their girls camp in places where they had cabins- what a cheat!

Once on a leadership retreat we went to Island Park and stayed at Max Inn. They called it camping. Camping? It was an apartment in the forest. How is that camping? If that's what camping is, I've seriously been missing out. Why did I have all the crappy character building poo-in-a-ditch experiences and others got to stay in luxury? I would like to submit a do-over. Not. Fair.

Sunday, July 28, 2013

My day according to Pinterest

I won't complain about hot weather- ever- because if it's hot, that means it's not snowing. But right now, this is totally appropriate.

And then I spent a lot of time doing this today.

 And When I wasn't doing that, I was doing this.

(which by the way, I had some super amazing Dr Who dreams during that nap. Asleep is SO much better than awake.

And this pretty much sums up the rest of the day. 

 And you wonder why I don't blog more? 

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

The Funniest Lie I Ever Told

I'm going to tell you a secret I don't normally tell people (if you already know this about me, you know me pretty well).

I don't have a middle name. I know, I know, I'm a freak of nature. It's just a thing in my family. The boys have middle names- the girls do not. I guess we were supposed to get married and use our maiden name as our middle name (that's what my mom did) but no one told us in time- and three of the four of us have never married so we're still middle nameless.

Oddly though, I've always been self conscious about not having a middle name. When I was little I told people it was Alice. I don't know why- I have just always loved that name. My oldest sister told people her middle name was Petunia and 40 years and some change later, she still gets mail with the middle initial of P.

A few years ago I had my Home Teachers from church come over to give me a blessing. Before the blessing, the one speaking the prayer asked me my full name. I told him. "That's it? Just a first and last name?" he asked. I affirmed that was true. "Wow. You're parents  didn't love you if they didn't give you a middle name." He was kidding, I think- and then went on to boast that his parents loved him so much they gave him TWO middle names (selfish selfish selfish).

At work a few months ago I was talking to a little girl- registering her and I asked if she had a middle name. "Of course I have a middle name." She said it like, "duh- what a stupid question." and continued, "everyone has a middle name."

"I don't have one," I said.

She looked at me like I had just announced I was from outer space and kept severed heads in my locker. It bugged me that this seven year old kid could make me feel self conscious about my own name.

The point? Well- at work things are done with a three initial code. My work initials are HXB. A few of the people were chatting about initials one day and they got to mine. One of them said, "that means you don't have a middle name, right?"

Immediately I replied, "No. I don't like to tell people my middle name, but I do have one.' This piqued their curiosity so they kept asking what it was. One guessed Xena. I laughed and said, "No, that's not it. But when I was in Jr High that's what I would tell people because I'm so ashamed of my actual middle name."

They couldn't think of what it could possibly be. So finally I gave in and revealed to them my "real" middle name. Xanadu. I told them my middle name was Xanadu and to this day they still believe me. It's totally believable because I was born around the time the song and movie came out- but even though I came  slightly before those, the term itself is hundreds of years old. It's just so funny that they believe it!

Only like, three people from work read this blog- so I would appreciate it if you (you know who you are!) would help me keep my secret.

Monday, July 22, 2013

Royal Baby Day

I like Mondays because I don't have to work. Sorry rest of the world. Your "I hate Monday" memes are lost on me currently. Now, if you ever come up with some "I hate Tuesday" ones, I'll be on board.

I was extraordinarily lazy today. The only thing I can truly say I accomplished was going to the phone store to get a new case for my phone because the last one broke to the point it wouldn't stay on anymore. Seriously- you'd just have to look at it and it would come off.

Anyway, I spent a lot of the day checking the news. I have been eagerly awaiting the birth of a certain royal baby- and I saw that it was going to be today. But of course, I missed the actual announcement because that was the five seconds I chose to run the one errand I had to do today. D'oh!

I celebrated the birth of the new prince by watching movies with princes (or at least, future kings) in them. I watched The Sword in the Stone, Cinderella and Beauty and the Beast. Really, one doesn't need an excuse to watch Disney movies in this house.

Congratulations and Good Luck the the new parents- and Good Luck to that poor baby who is never going to have a normal life.  But then again... what IS normal? I guess if you never know differently- that's what normal is to you right? Huh... I didn't mean to get philosophical. I didn't know I had it in me today.

Monday, July 15, 2013

Today I'm Snow White

Today's title has nothing to do with the color of my legs (although I have not worn ONE ounce of sunblock on my legs all summer- they are still the color of the belly of a dead fish. while the rest of me is tan and burned)

There are some days I feel like a villain (yesterday) and some days I feel like a princess. Today was a princess day. I was giving out the Snow White vibe to animals today I guess- because they just seemed to like to be where I was.

I was sitting out on the deck reading, when alla sudden, this little bloke showed up.

 Soon after his wife came too.

I didn't even know that Utah *had* blue birds! It was so fun to see them hop around and they weren't at all afraid of me. I mean, I was really quiet. I'm sure if I'd gotten up or made any sound or sudden movements they would have vamoosed!

And did I tell you my Aunt got a dog (if one can *call* a big brown rat a dog)? Her granddaughter brought it over for her kid last week (it followed her home I guess and she couldn't find the owner- so if anyone out there is missing a rat chihuahua, this might be it!)

It seems to have taken a shine to me. I don't know why. He's found his favorite spot though. Sigh...

I've never had a dog before. We had a few cats growing up- but I've never had a dog. I like dogs- we just never had any. My personal philosophy about dogs is that if it's below the knee, it's just a walking football. Dogs that small are good for nothing. They yip and yap and act a lot tougher than they really are. If I was a violent person I'd... nevermind.

Have I ever told you how much I hate chihuahuas? Of ALLLLLL the dogs in the world- this is the kind that moved in.

Sunday, July 14, 2013


I promise I haven't fallen off the face of the planet. I'm just very very stressed out right now and that makes me much less inclined to write. I have some pretty big decisions to make and it seems that whatever decision I make- someone is going to be upset so I generally keep these things to myself- which apparently even that is upsetting some people. I just can't please anyone. So for right now I've stopped giving a rat's rear what other people think. Everyone has an opinion about how I should live my life- and perhaps everyone should just shut the hell up and let me figure some things out on my own.

Even a day spent surrounded by men in kilts hasn't helped. I mean- it was a temporary fix, but I had to come back to this mess I call my life and I still have to get things sorted out.

So be patient with me. Perhaps someday I'll have something I feel like sharing with the world.

Friday, July 5, 2013

Working the 4th

The 4th of July is one of my favorite holidays- so naturally when I have to work said holiday, I get a little upset, especially when I have to work 3 in a row- but whatever.

I have to wear what they tell me when I work- but I got as festive as I could in my accessories (without being *that* crazy lady).

I had my stars (there's a necklace too- but I'm so washed out you can't see it!)

and my stripes. I love these socks! They cover three of my favorite major holidays! and I tucked my pants into my socks and claimed they were pantaloons and that I was going vintage 1776, but that of course was after I normally go to bed and I was not thinking clearly.

You can see from the first picture that it was waaaaaaaay past bedtime when I took it. The makeup is gone and the eyes are wishing to be closed. I had to work the super late shift because I got the crap shift. But I'm not bitter. (lies) I am however, tired.

I was quite lucky to walk out of work last night and see some fireworks- because they were not in my fortune tonight. I tried to watch for fireworks from the fourth floor window, but there was a huge tree in the way. Oh well, at least I got to see some last night.

I was up till 3 am baking and then up early in the morning decorating a cake to take to work- so you'd better check it out.

Hope you had a fun holiday. And to you who don't live in the U.S- I hope you had a nice Thursday. :)