Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Don't Go There

One of my nieces asked me today if I thought I would ever get married and have kids.  I sat and thought about a nice way of saying, "heck no"  (I try to filter for the G rated crowd) but there was no way to put it nicely.  I try to be a good example to my littles, but I also feel that honesty is the best policy.  I have no idea whatsoever how to be in a healthy, functioning relationship.

When she asked me why, I told her I couldn't imagine wanting to be around someone everyday forever.   I honestly can't get my mind around the concept.  She told me I should get online and look.  HA! That idea got shot down before she'd even put the period on her sentence.  It's all well and good for those who choose to do it, but it's not my style.  I have no interest whatsoever in finding a mate via technology *shudder*.

***this is just a musing- not a cry for help or fishing for encouragement.  I promise.***

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Big Big News!

Hey! I have great news AND it's not April Fool's so you can trust it this time!

Last week I had a job interview at the Idaho Falls hospital (ERMAC).  My sister works there and she got a me an interview. I just got the phone call about five minutes ago that they want to offer me the job! I'm soooo excited! You don't even know. It's been almost a year since I've worked and I just can't wait to be back in the workforce. Sure the time off has been nice, but you lose your sense of purpose after a while.

Anyway, I still have to do the background check and all that fun stuff so I don't know when I'll actually start- but it will be soon. I'll laugh really hard if I start the anniversary of when I was let go from the bank.  Irony runs thick in my blood.

I'll work in admissions and I'll start in ER (not gonna lie, kinda freaks me out). I'll start out per diem, but I hope to soon get on a regular-ish schedule.  I might be pulling the graveyard shifts for a while (good thing I've been practicing by staying up till 4 am reading).
It will be a commute to Idaho Falls, but I'm hoping as the job becomes more stable I'll be able to move to I.F. That is one hell of a commute in the winter and I really don't wanna do it if I can avoid it.

As I find out more- I'll let you know more- but for now, it's enough to know I have a job!

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Big City Life

Who says Pocatello isn't a happenin' place? Oh, it was me... yeah, well, I was wrong I guess.  A lot of really exciting things have happened since I moved here.

First thing- the stairway light burned out.  No really, this is an exciting thing. For years the light was burned out.  Occasionally I would replace the bulb; A. because I was the only one in the family who could reach it- I'm related to a bunch of runts- and B. there was no fixture cover on it so it was easy.  Anyway, so the thing that makes this all exciting, is the fact that my parent's recently remodeled and in that remodel they covered that light fixture and it's worked just fine.  I move in and Poof! Two days later the bulb burns out. I'm still the only one tall enough to fix it, but now I can't get to it without taking off the fixture and I'm afraid I'll break it. So I get to descend in the dark every night, fearing for my life.

Second thing- I got 97% of my clothes in my closet. This is quite a feat considering for the last three years I've had a walk in closet that was full to the brim. Of course, I still have stuff in my laundry bags, but if I just ignore it, then I'll be fine.

Third thing- I have picked right up where I left off when I moved away from Idaho- with my addiction to Project Runway.  Don't call me on Thursday nights.  I'm busy.

Fourth thing- I get here and shortly after, it's announced that Extreme Makeover Home Edition is coming to town.  I had slight inside information from a very reliable source as to which lucky family was going to get a new house so I forgot to act surprised when it was officially announced.  Now I hear reports of Ty Pennington sightings and friends trying to break through security (She was just trying to do her visiting teaching.  She just happens to visit teach the lady who lives two houses away from the project). And one has to wonder why ISU's orchestra showed up to play while the house was bulldozed.  Why not the marching band or the drum line? Who bulldozes a house to an orchestra?

Fifth thing- I just heard that there are rumors that the Twilight cast is going to visit the home makeover sight! *SQUEEEEEEEE!!!* Oh... sorry, I forgot for a moment that I'm 32 years old.  Ahem... yeah, if that rumor is true then I really wish I could be there. Not for me of course, but to see the reaction of all the 45 year old male construction workers.  Are they really going to give a rat's rear that Edward Cullen is in the house (hyuck, I'm hilarious)?  Maybe he could use his vampire super speed to help them get done faster.  And wouldn't it be fun to see RPatz standing next to Ty Pennington and  watch the ego struggle that will inevitibly ensue?

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Dirty Little Secrets

Tomorrow (well, today actually... I have insomnia these days) our proud town has its yearly celebration of Chubbuck Days! (cue the handful of confetti and tell the toilet papered trucks to head down the road to start the parade. Local cheerleaders? check.  Classic Car Club? check. City Council in the back of a hay truck? check. Pooper Scoopers? check. Salt Water taffy to throw to the adoring crowd? check. What's this? Bit o Honey? Get out of the parade!)

Every time Chubbuck Days rolls around, I can't help but feel the tinglings of guilt for a sin committed long ago.  And now, I confess to the universe.  To my wide (ahem) array of readers who so anxiously sit on the edge of their seats wondering, "What will that comic and philosophical genius come up with next?"

Ok... Maybe not.

Anyway, I always feel a little guilty.  I had a partner in crime (don't worry Wendy, your secret's safe with me still. I'll take it to the grave). 

For the life of me I can not remember what lead up to these events, or how two twelve year old girls were left in charge of such an important part of the cities celebration, but a friend (see Wendy, wink wink. It's all good) and I were put in charge of the raffle.  If I recall correctly, we were at the main celebration for a good part of the day.  Every hour or so we would draw a name out of the bucket to award some donated prize to the lucky winner.  We tried really hard to ration it out so the prizes would last all day. Apparently we were too good at that because by the end of the day there were still several prizes remaining.  We gathered them up and took them to my friend's house (you know, the one I'm not mentioning) and were told to just draw names and put them with the prizes and the winners would receive them later.

Our names were in the bucket several times... or maybe just once each. I can't remember.  But there were some prizes that we both hoped we'd be lucky enough to win.  it was a miracle when my name was drawn for the little glass and brass shadowbox house (which yes, I still have) that I wanted so badly.  I can't remember what Wen... I mean, my friend won.  But then there was a little denim purse that we both wanted.  It's a shame we both couldn't win it... but wasn't it odd that the ticket we pulled out had BOTH our names on it? Wow.  We decided to share the denim purse... but I think I ended up with it. I wouldn't be surprised if it too was still in the depths of my childhood boxes.  But can you imagine the LUCK? that we were able to win exactly the prizes that we had our eyes on?

Ummm... ok, It was actually harder for me to admit that than I thought it would be.  I'm not sure if it was therapeutic or not.  Maybe I should keep going and come totally clean... but... I think the story of the Rose Park, Utah 4th of July celebration and the stuffed unicorn dolls can wait for another blog.

Monday, August 9, 2010

Do Birds Gamble?

Today I had the funniest thing happen (and by funniest I mean a little funny and a whole lotta gross).  I was driving down the road, minding my own business admiring the beauty of the half sunny half drizzly day.  I decided to make my thoughts known and said, "it's such a beautiful d..." my sentence got cut off because right then, I ended up with a hand full of bird kaka (or in Jona's immortal words, "AGH! I just got shat upon!").

My first reaction was to be utterly grossed out.  Then I laughed till I nearly ran off the road.  Then I started to be extraordinarily impressed with the bird.  I was moving in a car, moving my hand around, and still the bird managed to aim exactly and hit the top third of my middle finger. (the bird hit me on the bird...HAHAHAHA)

I hope that bird flew to the gas station and bought a lottery ticket- because that was a shot in a zillion and it was obviously lucky today.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Dream Companions

I've been in Idaho a week. One solid week.  I wish I had exciting anecdotes to share, but mostly it's been spent with family and little else. I'm not ready to come out of my solitude just yet.  Church is going to take some getting used to, but that's all me.  They were very friendly and quite happy when I said I would be living here for a while and that I was just not here for a quick visit (they're used to those).  But it was my pride that couldn't take it when people asked what had made me move home, "Are you finally sick of that Denver?"

No... trust me. I would rather be there, but I am here and that's that.  How do I explain... Yeah, I moved home because I'm a loser single childless and now unemployed college graduate that couldn't support herself...?

That is not the purpose of this post, however.  Each night since I've been home I have had the craziest dreams. Not all of them do I remember, and the ones I do remember I wish I hadn't.  Last night there was something involving chocolate salsa and trying to prove that I knew how to cook. I think I need to lay off the food network challenge shows. 

Sitting in my room I've been trying to think of a cause of these odd dreams.  I think I have narrowed it down to one thing.  It's the creepy and- to be frank- downright ugly wallpaper in this room.

I think it's enough to give anyone nightmares. *shudder*

Creepy little corn-husk dolls with scythes and hoes.  Looking all, "Oh, I'm just bringing in the sheaves, don't mind me..." Then WHAM! They jump off the wall and kill you in your sleep.