What age is it that you genuinely stop giving a rat's rear about what people think?
Jim Parsons says it's 40. I can do 40. It's not TOOOOO far away (much closer than I'd like to admit, actually)
I wish I could be like that. I wish I didn't care so much what other people thought of me. I have opinions. I am vocal about them. I speak my mind- then feel badly when others don't like what I say. Not that everyone has to agree with me- I enjoy a good mental tussle over ideas- something that I don't ever get anymore since everyone is so PC and scared to say anything controversial. I'm one of them. I can't lie. There are so many opinions I have about things in this world that I keep to myself because I am afraid of the backlash of haters.
When that day comes- the day that I'm ready to turn this blog into a soapbox- I'll probably get shot for my opinions. But until then- until I'm ready to face the criticism that will come with saying everything that I think is wrong with the world- I will keep it to myself (Well, I'll keep it on a small scale of course. If you want to know my opinion on a topic, you have but to ask).
I have been accused several times of having the attitude that I'm better than everyone and that I think I'm perfect. One of these days perhaps I'll actually learn from that. I guess if more than one person says it, it must be true.
The last few months I will admit I've been a real bitch. There is just no other way to say it. I'm angry. I have so much anger pent up inside of me that I don't know what to do with it. I'm angry with stuff at work. I'm angry with stuff at home. I'm angry with life in general and apparently I'm not as good at keeping to myself as I thought- and yet I feel like my true feelings aren't being expressed.
And then there is the fact that I think I'm hilarious. Apparently other people don't feel the same way. What I thought was a brain stretching debate with a friend- he saw as my absolute inability to admit I was wrong. I knew he was right from the very beginning of the conversation, but I thought it was fun to try to get him to see my side of the argument. He didn't. But not only in that situation, I guess my humor is ill placed at times and things I see as witty, clever comments others perceive as insults.
Oh Lord, I've turned into my father! AUGH!!!! (Hi dad!)
What I saw as concern for a friend, was taken as me being intrusive and nosey. I just can't win. True, I have said some things that were out of line- but I guess I hope people will tell me when I'm being a jerk so I can stop- otherwise I don't know and I keep doing it. I usually tell people when they're bugging me- so I assume others will return the favor. I guess not.
Anyway, today was a huge lesson in humility. I know I'm not perfect. I'm so far from it that I can't even see it. But I guess my false confidence doesn't strike people the way I think it should.
I always have to wonder- is that what I'm putting out there? Is that why I'm pathetic, alone and friendless? Probably.
So to those whom I have offended- here is a very impersonal apology. I probably don't realize I've offended you. But seriously, you *have* to tell me when things aren't funny, or when they're hurtful because I probably don't know. I will try to be more aware in the future- and perhaps my snark and sarcasm should take a vacation. I'm old and set in my ways so it's not going to be easy. Please be patient with me and just know that I am *fully* aware of the fact that I am not perfect.
Don't worry. I promised I wouldn't do a daily cartoon countdown this year and I won't.
But I'm starting to get excited here- and I've got a seven year old cousin that I'm trying to get excited to go too! So far- she's just kinda like- meh, whatever, it's just Disneyland. She's never been there- she just doesn't get how exciting it is!!! (I seriously don't know how this kid is related to me. I would have peeeeeed my pants if I'd known I was going to Disneyland at age seven. I didn't go for the first time till I was almost twelve!!)
Anyway, to try to get her excited to go- we made her a job jar.
This way she can do extra chores around the house and earn spending money for Disneyland (of course, two days after we made this, she showed up with a jar completely full of change... I don't think the rest of the family gets the idea or understands the significance of earning your own spending money. Whatever.)
So I decided to sit down with her and make a chain countdown. I thought if she could see how many days till we go- that as it got closer and closer she'd get more excited.
After making about three links she got bored and left- so I finished it on my own. Seriously, I'm more excited than the kid.
I have an announcement! It's a WONDERFUL announcement! It's had me grinning from ear to ear all day! Seriously. Every time I think about it I giggle. I don't think my dear Auntie has ever seen me so giggly and giddy. In the middle of our conversation this afternoon I had to hide my face in my hands to stifle my glee- and she laughed out loud at the sheer idiocy of my behavior.
What has me behaving this way, you ask (especially after such a grouch-fest post as the one from yesterday)? Does it have something to do with a certain fireman? yeeeah, I'm gonna go ahead and say hay-ll no to that one. Does it have something to do with a MAN? Oh no.
He's a Mouse.
In fact, he's the leader of the Club that's made for you and me! M.I.C.K.E.Y. M.O.U.S.E.
I have been giggling all day because we solidified plans to go to Disneyland! In six weeks and some change I'll be there! We told my seven year old cousin that we were going to take her for her first time ever and she didn't seem all that impressed. I'm more excited than the seven year old?!? Ok, ok... that's not a shocker.
Don't worry- I won't do to you what I did last year; the cartoon-a-day countdown (which, for the record, I still this is awesome and a darn shame that more people didn't participate). But I do think it's selfish to bottle this and keep all this happiness to myself. So I am going to do a giveaway! *squeeeee*
Each day of my trip I'm going to take a picture of something in Disneyland. Each time you guess (via email which I will post when the time comes) will get your name in the bucket. If you guess correctly that will get your name in an extra time! The prize will be determined later. It will be something from the park that I'll send to you. Don't get TOO excited... I'm not rich so it's not going to be like, one of those fancy porcelain figurine music boxes or anything. Sheesh. And I'll have to keep it reasonable in case the winner is international (I don't want to have to take out a mortgage to ship it to you) so be realistic. It's enough to be the winner!
Maybe I'll do two prizes. One for the person who gets the most pictures correct, and then one for a general drawing of participants. Hmmm... we'll see. I've never really done a giveaway so I'm not entirely sure how it's done. I'll post the official giveaway deets when it gets closer.
I have a headache. I've had a headache for three days and no amount of Ibuprofen will get rid of it. That usually does the trick but this is one stubborn brain drain.
Because of this, I've had a pretty lousy weekend (don't get me wrong, there were some fabulous highlights but we're focusing on the negative right now, so deal with it).
So I've decided to make a list of things I don't like. Because it's funny and I can.
I don't like having a headache. That should be obvious so we'll just get it out of the way first thing.
I don't like cooked fruit. I don't know why this is weird to some people. I'll eat (most) fresh fruit till my head falls off- but once you cook it? gag-o-rama! For me this rules out any fruit pie (cherry, apple, berry...) and any of your cobblers. If you put fruit in cookies that's just mean.
Along the fruit lines- I hate, loathe, despise and abominate cantaloupe. I hate the sight of it, the smell of it and the taste of it. In fact, I can't eat anything that has even touched cantaloupe. And if you cut cantaloupe, and then (without washing it) use the same knife to cut watermelon, I can't eat the watermelon because the taste is that strong and I can't handle it. Some people, when they come home from their missions, they tell stories of the really gross things they had to eat as missionaries, such as bird fetus, or monkey brains or chicken beaks... me? the thing I had the hardest time choking down as a missionary was a slice of cantaloupe (well, that and a badly made flan- but we'll leave that off today).
It really REALLY bugs me when people think that non-Disney movies are Disney. Anastasia is NOT a Disney movie! not Not NOT!!! GAAAAHHHH The Land Before Time is also not Disney. Whenever I see pins on Pinterest that are all Disney related- but they include a non-Disney movie in it- I can't bring myself to pin it because this bugs me so much. (ps- sense the tone and you'll find how I feel about the movie Anastasia. bleh).
When other cars go under the speed limit I go crazy. If you're driving the speed limit and I want to pass you, I can't get mad at you- but when you're driving 25 in a 40 and I can't get past you- just know that I am mentally shooting lasers at your head.
I can't stand people who are as fake as a three dollar bill- when they're SO fake that you wonder if they're faking being that fake- or if they really just think you're that stupid that you won't realize how full of crap they are.
I don't like watching the news these days. What a horrible world we live in. I wish they would talk about the wonderful things that happen- all the miracles that happen everyday, instead of the death and destruction that humankind is bringing upon itself. Who needs another plague? We'll kill ourselves off eventually.
I don't like being alone. I've had years of practice and you'd think by now I'd be used to it- but I'm not and I still don't like it.
I don't like eating leftover macaroni and cheese. Eew. It never reconstitutes just right.
I don't like matching my socks back up after I wash them. I do it- but I don't like it.
The same can be said for ironing. My wardrobe would triple if I would just iron my shirts.
Meh... there's probably more but why list them all today? I have a whole lifetime ahead of me to air out my complaints. :)
