Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Concerning Flirting

I'm opening a forum. Please please PLEASE chime in.

Today at work I was accused of having a "flirt voice". I wasn't offended... just kinda bugged. I submit that I do *not* have a flirt voice. I admit- I flirt with firemen. Who doesn't? seriously? Other than saving lives and putting out fires, that's about all their good for. But when I was accused, the person I was talking to at the time was a married doctor in whom I less that zero interest and we were talking about his family.

I know I'm just being nice- and that's all that matters. But are other people perceiving me to be flirting with married men? Just because I can laugh and talk with them a lot easier than I can with single ones? I'm not flirting. *That's* the more normal me. My poor co-workers generally see the bored-out-of-my-mind-please-just-make-it-come-to-an-end version of me. So maybe they don't know that usually- in normal company (although I'm a little out of practice) I'm generally thought pretty charming and fun to talk to.

Is that flirting? I don't think so.

I think the definition of flirting is using charms in a "hey, I want you to notice me" kind of way. Not a "I'm just a nice person and I'm genuinely interested in what you have to say" kind of way. I mean- I know when I'm flirting. I act like an imbecile. At least I *feel* like I'm acting like an imbecile. But when I'm just talking to someone- I'm just being the awesome person that I am.

Weigh in here folks. What is flirting? I mean, I know it's more than the wink and "come hither" stare... and more than the Tribbiani, "How YOU doin?" When I was 19 I got an article from a magazine that talked about flirting. It had the tips on The Arm Grab, and how to twirl your locks in an alluring way (never did master that one), and dangling your sandals from your toes (seriously, that's flirting???).

I don't know- maybe I've been doing it wrong all these years and that's why I'm sitting here, writing about flirting at 11:30 on a Tuesday night.


Liz Erickson said...

What you have described is not flirting. It is perhaps a warm and friendly exchange between two people that one may interpret as flirting, especially if the "one" is married as an observer or being involved in the exchange. Sometimes when we are married we lose those warm and friendly exchanges with our spouse lost to the stress of work and having a zillion kids. Then we see those exchanges and think, I'm missing something, or I wish my husband would talk to me like that. Maybe I am way off the wall on this but this is how I see it.

Anonymous said...

I agree with the Liz comments above. That is not flirting but I get where in today's society being polite and giving your full attention to someone might be misinterpreted as flirting since no one seems to have those types of exchanges anymore.