Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Don't flirt with the Anti-Flirt

I don't flirt. I don't know how to flirt. I used to be a champion flirt- then I turned 7 and everything went downhill from there. Lately I haven't met anyone I wanted to test my meager skills on anyway.

I can't remember who I was talking to the other day- a friend- a coworker- about my lack of flirting skills- and my even bigger lack of realization of when I'm being flirted with. No one flirts with me. Seriously. I honestly don't think men flirt with me. Sure, they're nice- but that is not flirting. My friend said that they probably are flirting- but I'm just too stupid to realize it. I don't think so. Seriously.

Today though- I was flirted with. So much so that it was unmistakable. My first impulse (which I subdued thankyouverymuch) was to ask which jokester paid him to ask for my number. He couldn't be serious. Right? I laughed it off the first time. He asked again. I changed the subject.

When I ran into him in the hall later, he asked again- he had his phone out and started to put in the area code- I started to give him the number for my work (I wasn't even going to give him my work number- just the number for the hospital operator) but he knew what I was about. "Seriously? You're not going to give me  your number?"

Sorry, friend. I don't just give out my number to random men just because they ask for it. I don't know you. I don't know if you're a crazed psychopath. Hopefully not- but you just never know. I actually felt bad telling him no. Right up until he used the phrase, "You're the only woman who's ever told me no."

You hit me in my weak spot. There is NO way you're getting my number now. If there is anything I've ever wanted to be less- it's just another tick on your scoreboard. Who do you think you are??? Sorry dude. No. Freaking. Way. I declined as politely as I could, thanked him for making my day and walked away.

But I can't lie. It made me feel good. All kind of giggly and stupid inside to know that someone noticed and repeatedly complimented my smile (thank you dentists of the world!) and wasn't repulsed by me.

He must have strong gag reflexes.


Barbara said...

I can't believe no one has commented on your post yet! The only acceptable reason is, that you are so very obviously wrong about yourself :-) I am one of your secret blog stalkers. I'll even go as far as to admit, that I've stolen an idea or a picture off it for my own, because I liked it _that_ much. Reading this though has made me slightly uncomfortable. Quit the selfbashing, look in the mirror and state, what everybody else clearly already knows: You are fan-BLOODY-tastic! xxx Barbara (Switzerland)

Camie Marie said...

Amen, Barbara!