Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Time Bomb

I finally had to make a decision. I'm out of money so if I can't find a job in June, It's back to the parent's basement for me.  I can see myself now, sitting in the dark and sinking into a black despair because of feeling like an utter failure.  I don't care what you say.  I say F*A*I*L*U*R*E.  I'm a 32 year old college graduate and should be able to support myself for heaven's sake.

My mom is only too happy to have me move home and live with her. I don't think she understands the depth of depression that I will get in. I have always been active in church, but I won't want to go if I move back into my home ward.  All the well meaning looks and sideways glances of pity because of the pathetic adult daughter that that Baker's have to harbor because she's still single and now completely unemployable.

So pray for a job.  Anything. I mean, I would like a *real* job as opposed to one that any old high school drop out qualifies for... but we've already established that my degree is completely worthless and all it did was accrue me tens of thousands of dollars in debt.  I've even sunk so low as to apply at .... well let's just say I cried as I turned in the application.  But even *they* haven't called me back.  This feels great.


Grafulas said...

I can't believe you think everyone's gonna think of you as a loser if you move back--ESPECIALLY considering how many people are hard up for work right now. And even if your degree isn't in hot demand, knowledge is always much better than ignorance. I hope you find a job soon though, so you won't question your mad-self anymore :) Good luck!

ZAC said...

Heather, you make me laugh! I moved back to my "home ward", jobless and single. I was a major F*A*I*L*U*R*E that continued to live the gospel of Jesus Christ. I had people setting me up left and right. I laughed at the unecessary attention behind closed doors...and have not missed it since the day it stopped. But the best part of this scenario was that when the Lord finally got my career going, I was still living at home at my Daddeo's request. So I totally stashed up on the cash and could also enjoy myself because I wasn't paying rent---(travel and other fun activities)! And Mr. Right still found me! If you end up at home everything will still be okay----except that you will be horribly missed in CO. :(
Someone needed to give you a little insight into the half-full cup.

Jessica said...

Lady... keep fingers, toes and legs crossed. You'll figure it out. I'm sending some major job-finding mojo your way.
P.S. I think you would laugh/blush at what I've been scribbling today. Especially the characters. But its to practice my dialogue as that is a weakness of mine.
Until tomorrow's mad texting session...

Vern said...

Job hunting has to be right up there with trying to take a drink from a fire hose, or potty training, or crawling naked over broken glass - all of which you might prefer at this point. You're not a failure, and I would have told you that in person today if you weren't sitting so far away when I saw you! Hang in there.