Monday, December 30, 2013

Facebook Status Highlights 2013


One pink shoe- One blue shoe. I have *got* to stop getting dressed in the dark.

I had a dream the other night that Johnny Depp called and asked me to bring my 6 year old cousin over to play with his daughter. I looked horrible and my sister asked why I even bothered to answer the phone. The answer was easy, "When Johnny Depp calls--- YOU ANSWER!"

Please let me into the movie! please please please!!!!

I've decided to scrap everything and take up a career in religious architecture. There's money in that right?


I have to turn in my Baker card. I forgot to put eggs in the cake. [hangs head in shame]

Pandora should come with this warning: playing with Pandora while doing your makeup may result in you showing up to work with only one eyebrow.

It's only marginally intimidating when you have your boss and your boss's boss lurking over your shoulder watching and listening to every word as you interview the CEO. I may have been a nervous wreck, but I think I made a good impression.

There are no words in the English language to adequately express how much I don't want to go to work tomorrow.

Dear friends who are related to/married to/or are in fact Doctors, Is there a class in medical school, or is it written on their/your diploma that once you have your degree, you have given up all necessity of common courtesy and can therefore act like a total ass whenever you fancy?

I'm doing a very dumb thing... watching the scariest Dr Who right before bed. The lights will probably be left on. But I just can't resist!!!

Where did this giggling idiot come from? Please send her back to High School. She has no place in my brain.


I am in Utah. Met a girl who lives in Wisconsin. She's from Connecticut. and she knows a family I knew in New Jersey. Who says the world isn't small?

I dreamed last night that the StayPuft  marshmallow man was running down my street. As he passed my house, his head fell off. What do you think Freud would make of that?

They say the more attracted you are to someone, the easier it is for them to make you laugh. No *wonder* I laugh at my own jokes!

Had eggs for breakfast they were chocolate covered marshmallow eggs- but eggs nonetheless.

It's been so long since I've been in public I don't remember how to behave...

So.Freaking.Bored. Isn't there a store or somewhere I can buy a life? A cheap one, of course.

Be ye warned: If I see you in the next 23 hours and 45 minutes and you are not wearing visible green- I will pinch you.

Cleaning my room while watching Disney movies... It's the spoonful of sugar that makes my medicine go down.

Oh man, my sisters are in town. Watch out Salt
Lake! The Baker girls are on the loose!

Evidence that I'm not the brightest crayon in the box: Got my hair done today, Didn't look in the mirror for several hours, then when I did- freaked out because I didn't recognize my own reflection.


So I've decided that I am in fact a morning person- I'm just not a work person. Work always seems to kill the smiles fairly quickly.

If nobody is awake to see you eat a 2nd pint of s'mores ice cream, does it still have calories?

Sometimes when I'm sad I stalk Disneyland in google earth. That's normal, right?

I want a job where I get benefits, get to travel frequently, 3 months vacation every year, Monday-Friday 9am-11am with an hour lunch. Find me the job. Go.

I accomplished so much nothing today that it almost amounts to something.


I decree Wednesday, May 1, 2013 to be cookie calories don't count day!

I've never thought much of moving back to Idaho. But they have s'mores ice cream. I may have to rethink this.

Remember how I decreed May 1 as Cookie Calories Don't Count Day? Yeah, we better change that to the whole month. Why limit it to 24 hours?

Dear Mr Professional,

I pay you to help me, not be mean to me. I have plenty of people who are mean to me for free.

Dreams about wine drinking Muppet's and tap dancing Care Bears. What the heck is in this cold medicine!?

Word to the wise: if you text me at 3 a.m. And no one is dying. I will cut you.

I come up with some of the best pick up lines ever. Too bad no one ever hears them.


My almost brand new Disney hoodie is RUINED! Melted crayon *inside* the jacket between layers of fleece. I don't have kids! Why was there even a crayon in my car in the first place?!?!

I must be having a Charlie Brown evening. First my sweatshirt- then I dropped my watermelon walking in the house. Hahaha! Time for bed maybe.

I just thought of something I wanted to buy from Disneyland so I thought, "I'll just run to Downtown Disney and get it." and then I remembered I don't live in California.

4 year old neighbor boy walks in reeking of perfume. Me, "Have you been playing in the perfume?" Him, "no," me, "are you lying?" Him, " yes. Sorry."

Usually spending huge amounts of money on one things is fun- but when it's for something practical like tires- it sucks.


The goal? to eat a 12 pack of fudge sickles before my roommates come home. Ready go!

Where were you eight years ago today? I was in England. I'm homesick.

Bagpipe music in the air and men in kilts as far as the eye can see. I'm I at the Payson Scottish festival or have I died and gone to heaven?

I find it amusing that so many people are posting that they don't care about the royal baby- but obviously care enough about it to make a fuss on Facebook. If you truly didn't care you wouldn't feel the need to comment.

Today when I ran at the gym, I pretended I was running with The Doctor. The result? I would die quickly.


I wished on 13 shooting stars tonight. One of them had better come true!

First thought this morning: you need to wake up so you can take a nap later.

Where is the line between doing someone a service and becoming a chump?

I love it when Monday and Friday fall on the same day!

It's really hard to be the driver and the sightseer at the same time- But holy crap this place is beautiful! (Moab)


My "10 minutes on Pinterest" was up an hour ago...

I was thinking about moving back to Colorado... but I can't swim.

It's a sad day in the Bakeshow household when it's too cold to sleep with the windows open, :'-(

Isn't it sad that I have felt more welcome- and had more friendly conversations in the last three days in Colorado than I've had in two years in Utah? I'm seriously homesick and don't want to leave!

Ok, girls- I finally watched The Notebook. Didn't like it (waaaaaaaay too schmaltzy) and I still don't think Ryan Gosling is hot... not even attractive. Does that make me dead inside?


You call it stalking- I call it intense research.

I purposely kept my phone in a different room all night so I didn't have to listen to it *not* ring.

Every time it seems things are finally going my way, the universe punches me in the face and says NO!

I took part in the disaster drill tonight. I hope I never EVER have to do that for real. Even though I knew the blood was fake and the children weren't really shot/paralyzed/in agony... It was really hard to keep it together. I think I'm traumatized.

After 2.5 months, I FINALLY finished the unabridged version of Les Miserables. Not gonna lie- when I dropped it in the return bin at the library I was kind of hoping for a round of applause.

If the sorting hat tried to put me in Hufflepuff, I would pick it up and throw it across the Great Hall to prove I'm not nice. I am RAVENCLAW!


Hanging out with my family this weekend has reminded me why I look behind the shower curtain before using the bathroom.

Lucked out on free tickets tonight to see The Book Thief. If you liked the book you'll love the movie. Surprisingly true to the original story (as far as Hollywood allows). Three tissue movie at least.

Dominic the Donkey!!! Christmas has officially begun!! 

I shop in the same section of the shoe store as the drag queens. Not sure how that makes me feel.

Home in time for leftovers! 


Brrr... It's cold in my room! Just because I said I loved Frozen doesn't mean I want to reenact it!

Bought my kitty a game for the iPad. Like any spoiled child he played with it for three seconds then started to play with things that he shouldn't.

Everyone is constantly asking me why I'm sad. I'm not sad. Apparently I'm the human version of Grumpy Cat. That's just my face, people.

I have to turn in my girl card- for I hate shopping.

Today I am 13,225 days old. Today does not make it in the top 10,000 best days. And that's including the first 2,000 that I can't remember.

Me: Resident 7 year old do you want to go on a date with me?
R7YO: no.
I now know what true rejection is.

Spent hours baking and decorating Christmas cookies to take to work... Only took two seconds to dump the whole tray on the front steps. Sigh...

I gave up and joined the throng. I started playing candy crush- and I suck at it. Please send me lives.

When I close my eyes I see Candy Crush.

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