I have a confession to make. I did something last week that I promised myself I would never EVER do. Like, Ever. Well... let me start off a different way. Last week I had an amazing dream. Probably the most amazing dream I've ever had- it wasn't icky- it wasn't... well, of all the dreams I tell you on this blog- I'm not going to tell you this one. It was a little bit... well... special (I hate to use the word "sacred" because it wasn't at all religious- but it was something really special to me and I just don't fee like sharing it with the entire world).
Anyway, momentarily dazed after this dream- ("momentarily" meaning days) I decided that I need to be more proactive in my singleness situation if I ever want to change that (which, I'm not entirely sure if I do- but in a moment of weakness, I thought I might consider it) and therefore (oh, Lord help me say this without shriveling up and dying of embarrassment) I signed up with an online dating site.
For those of you who have been reading along with me for a while- you know how I feel about online dating. But, for those in need of a refresher: I am not against it. For those people who engage in such activities- more power to you. Please don't be offended by anything further that I say. If you are the exception, then I'm happy for you! I am speaking from my personal experience (and that of people close to me) only.
I can't lie. The only reason I got on was to see who/what was available across the pond. I'm not interested in staying in Utah. Facts be known, I rather hate living here. BUT if there was some dashing gent three thousand miles away, well, you know, it is hard to meet people of the same faith allll the way over there- anyway, that's why I signed onto the site.
Over the next few days I got smiles and IM's and whatever the heck it is they do. I only had the free account- I wasn't a paying customer- so I couldn't talk to anyone anyway. But call me judgmental (because we all know it's true) there was just no one I'd be interested in. In my experience, the guys who go online (and this is where the offensive part comes into play) just aren't quality. I guess it's my opinion that LDS guys should not have a hard time finding a date around here. Seriously. There are scads of amazing women around who are all probably too good for them, yet would still be willing to go out with them. There is no reason for an LDS man to be shopping online for a local women. All he has to do is strap on a pair and ask one out! Women, yes, I can see why they go online- pickin's are slim these days- but in very, very few cases that I know of, does it turn out well (and why is that? oh, because the women are amazing and the guys are just looking for the easy way out of finding a willing, good woman).
Anyway, it's not my thing. I just can't see myself... ugh... chatting with some random stranger online. Heck, I have a hard enough time chatting with perfect strangers in person. The anonymity of the Internet is supposed to be what makes it easier... but I think it adds so much more doubt. How can you trust that the person is who they say they are? and not some crazy sleaze bucket just out to prey on vulnerable women who honestly trust what they are being told? At least in person you have a slightly better chance of picking up on red flags and making personal conclusions.
Long story short I deleted the account today. I gave it a week. But it made my stomach cringe every time I opened my email and saw "you have new matches" or "crazycreep sent you a wink" Gag. I just want to throw up thinking about it. But, I felt I had to confess it to you.
I hope we can still be friends.