Saturday, December 22, 2012

The Inadvertant Grinch

I'm having a hard time getting into the spirit of things. A month ago I was all gung-ho for Christmas- but the last few weeks- I've practically forgotten that Christmas is even coming- and now it's practically here!

I don't know why. I've watched as many Christmas movies as I've had time for. I've made treats and sweets until I even smell like sugar. I've shopped (which is fun when I'm by myself. I don't shop well with others). I've put a lot of thought into my gifts. I LOVE buying gifts. Usually for my niecephews I cop out and take them to a movie or something. Not this year! This year I put a lot of thought into what I thought they could really use- or would really like. I hope I'm not wrong.

Maybe it's because I was robbed. Nah... I wasn't feeling it before that happened (although that did not help). Perhaps it's because I don't listen to Christmas music in my car. I listen to books. Hmmm... I can't listen to music at work either (although today I broke down and shattered the rule- because I was in some serious need for Christmas tunes).

I've decorated trees
and gingerbread houses
and cupcakes
and doors
and fireplace mantles.

I've hung lights
and stockings
and pictures drawn by a six year old
and countdown chains.

I've wrapped presents until my back hurt- stretched- then wrapped some more. I've read Christmas books. I've worn Christmas socks. I've sung carols. I've looked at lights (hoo BOY did I look at lights). I went to the MoTab Christmas Concert and bawled my eyes out. I've remembered the Savior in all things (or at least tried).

But still I find myself lacking in excitement. I don't mean to bum anyone out. This isn't meant to do that. I just... want to glow with Christmas spirit. I want to feeeeeeeel Christmas- not just see it circled on a calendar.

Tomorrow is Christmas Adam. I have to work all day- but as soon as I get off work I'm headed home. Like, home, home. When I get there, my parent's house should be crawling with neicephews dressed as Whos and clamouring to watch movies and play games. This year we're having a Who-bi-lation. Maybe that will put me in the mood.

I hope so. I love Christmas and I don't love when I feel so blue. I like a red and green Christmas- not a blue Christmas. I wouldn't even mind a white Christmas- so long as it waits until I'm home.

1 comment:

Amy said...

You know, Bakeshow, I totally know what you mean. I have definitely had Christmases like this where I am totally in the Christmas spirit about a month before Christmas but when it comes down to it I just can't feel the excitement or spirit of Christmas that I am seeking. I don't feel that way this year, but I have in years past. It sounds like you have tried everything you could think of to get into it though. The one thing that helps me most is to get into the Christmas spirit is stillness I think. There is so much business and must do stuff that I actually think we overload. I like to turn everything off and just read Luke 2 and then maybe a Christmas book like "A Christmas Carol". Not the movie version or anything because that almost seems like too much stimulation - just a quiet, thoughtful, still and slow approach. Maybe that would help?