Sunday, December 27, 2015

Facebook Status Highlights 2015


Second day of the year and I'm already requesting a do over.

Today my coworkers (lovingly) informed me that I am an insufferable know it all and that I'm self-righteous. They are just now figuring this out? I've known that for years!

I'm having my do-over tonight! Happy New Years eve everyone!!!

I got a beautiful new kitchen knife set for Christmas. Finally today I opened it up to use to make dinner. On a completely unrelated note, must remember to buy Band-Aids next time I'm at the store.

A year ago. One year ago this very minute. All day I've been looking at the clock thinking, "this was the last time I saw here eyes." And "this was the last time I heard her speak." And other such thoughts. I miss her. Oh how I miss my best friend. I miss my sister. I went to the temple today and had a hard time leaving because she was there. I felt her there. I wish I could have seen her. But i guess for now, it will have to be enough. I am so grateful for the knowledge of eternal families. I don't weep for her. I cry for myself because I am the selfish jerk who would have kept her here. Dear Melanie, I love you and I miss you.

Humph. *someone* woke up on the wrong side of the broomstick is morning.

So I finally saw The Theory of Everything last night and it made me so homesick I could die. Do you have any idea how disheartening it is to dream of England all night and wake up in Utah?


Went to throw my keys on the table- they fell on the floor. Went to throw some trash away- it fell on the floor. It can't be my aim, something must be wrong with gravity.

Wow. Who knew Lady Gaga could actually sing?

You know you officially watch too much TV when you dream in Lego animation.

Star Trek marathon!


I understand the purpose of mornings- but do they have to happen EVERY day?

Since this is the month of green...everyone pick your favorite shade because you're about to be envious. I'm going to see Mama Mia tonight!!!

Dear Abba, thank you for the music!

You know you've been watching "Friends" too much when:

1. You spend your days wondering if, 11 years later are Ross and Rachel still together? 
2. You do the math in you head of how many women Joey scored with and your head explodes.
3. You can't sleep at night because you're thinking about what would name your sailboat if you ever just randomly bought one. (I would call her the Miss Petunia).
4. You realize that at some point or other they were all unemployed for a while... But ended up in jobs they loved... Then you wonder if that is a real thing or just fiction (is it possible to love your job?)
5. You look at the clock and see it is past 2 a.m. And get the song " hey Mickey you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind, hey Mickey. " stuck in your head.


Can I go to work in my jammies?


Kitchen knives: 2
fingers: 0

I just washed my lights and my darks in the same load. Next step: flaming batons.

Just passed my secret recipe for the world's best cookie dough onto Macy Baker. You have done well, young padawan. The bake is strong with this one.


Looks like this weekend calls for a Christopher Lee‬ marathon

That one time I was flying my broomstick thinking "I should give Angelina Jolie a call" and then accidentally dropped my phone in the ocean


Most people, when they go on vacation, bring back shirts or key chains. I brought back a cold.

Well. After two and a half weeks, vacation is over. When I wake up I'll be one of the working class again. Is it any wonder I don't want to sleep?


I have so much stuff I have to get done tonight but nothing is more appealing than lying on my couch, reading a good book and eating Fernwood mints

The voices in my head speak with a British accent.

Wendell, ID smells like a cow.

I woke up with "moves like Jagger" stuck in my head. So it's going to be that kind of day, huh?


Tried a new recipe tonight- garden lasagna. Totally vegetarian and totally amazing. I don't try new things very often so you know it's a big deal!

Perhaps I should lay off Netflix for a while. I said my prayers tonight with a Scottish accent.

Remember that I time I said cancer was a bitch? Yeah. It still is. I miss my sister


Thank you random person who called the wrong Number this morning and woke me up. No, seriously. Thank you. I forgot to set my alarm.

My last day in the ER. Thanks for making it a crappy day so I wouldn't feel so sad leaving!

 I let  Macy practice driving today. Ever been on a wild mouse roller coaster? Yeah... It was something similar to that. 

I left my iPad in Poky... what am I supposed to do with my life now?

Oh my gosh I LOVE my new job!

The mailman brought an unassuming parcel and left if stuffed in the small black mailbox that was fixed to the side of the red brick building. She came home from work and checked the box only expecting to find the usual collection of junk newspapers and bills meant for past tenants. 
When she saw the parcel tucked away, her heart gave a small leap. She knew it was coming but she hadn't dared to hope it would come so quickly. She tore into the cardboard box and as she pulled her precious iPad from the packaging, the clouds parted and she heard Peaches & Herb singing, "Reunited and it feels so goooood....."

Got a new water heater today. Yay I can do dishes again!!! Oh...Wait...

Today was an Anne of Green Gables day. A day well spent... Sigh...


Ummm... Hugh Jackman's clone just renewed my gym membership. 😍

When I was younger my list for the ideal mate was three pages long. Now that I'm older and much wiser, I'd take anyone who offered to do the dishes.

I was so excited to go to bed early tonight.... Then a spider decided to join me in bed. It'll take hours to slow my heart rate and stop thinking of all his friends who might be nearby.


Somebody stop me! Hallmark Christmas movies are taking over my life!

I went to Disneyland with Melanie last night. It's hard to wake up from that. Sigh...

After sitting at home for 4 years I finally got invited to play volleyball! I almost didn't go because of the snow but thought better of it and went. First item of business? Lose control of my momentum and fall flat on my face the very first time the ball comes my way. That makes a great first impression. I'm not sure which hurts more, the jammed finger, skinned elbow or my pride.

While turning everything off to get ready for bed I realized I never turned my Christmas lights on tonight. Probably because I wore my Grinch socks today.

The best quote from Christmas weekend:
(while taking turns saying prayers youngest to oldest)

6 year old: "First it's ODB then me. After that comes Macy and Sadie- then Heaboo and then Kimmee. Know how I know? Because Kimmee is old and Heaboo is almost old."

Thanks kid.

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