Life is filled with interesting and frustrating contradictions. Especially in the dating world. Over the last several months...years...lifetime... these are different things I've been told:
It won't happen when you're looking for it but you've got to put yourself out there.
Huh... Ok... so how does that work? If I'm putting myself out there- trying to meet people and taking risks with flirting and inviting... how is that not "looking for it?" You can't find treasure if you're not on a hunt. You don't just one day trip over a treasure chest filled with diamonds and rubies. Well... Ok, there is the rare occasion that that technique works for some people, but they are mostly in religious magazines and young adult novels.
You just have to be yourself but you have have to play it cool.
Wait, so you're saying I can't be overly excited and enthusiastic? What if that's who I am? I won't deny that when I like someone- I want to see him all the time. I want to spend time around him. I want to do nice things for him. It's really hard for me to "play it cool" but apparently "my way" is a scary way to be. I'm not crazy stalker psycho... but I just think if we like each other and we have everything in common, why can't we chat and hang out? I don't think that's needy and clingy. I think that's enthusiasm and excitement for the new friendship. It's not like I need to have hourly updates on what he's doing... but does it have to be weeks and weeks between conversations? If I want to talk to him- do I really have to "wait my turn" to text? That just seems so silly to me- and yet I do it because it's what my friends (who, let's face it, are just unpaid therapists) tell me to do. But they're all married- so they must know *something* about it. Right?
(ok... that last one made me seem a wee bit crazy. I'm just not explaining myself well, I think.)
This last one is my favorite. I don't think this was what was intended in the lesson today at church, but this is what *I* heard:
You don't need a man to be happy, but you'll never know true happiness until you're married.
Ummm... really I don't know where to go with that one. Everyone keeps telling me that if you can't be happy alone, you can't be happy in a relationship. And I absolutely agree with that. And I think- all kidding aside, I'm fairly happy. I mean, I'm extraordinarily blessed, I have my own place, I have more than enough to eat (and obviously I see that it doesn't go to waste [no waist puns, please]) and I am secure enough with myself to go out and do things alone and have a life by myself when friends aren't available. But I guess I'll never know true joy until I have someone to be eternally annoyed with...
I don't know. I just don't understand life sometimes. Don't ask me- I just live here.