This weekend marks the 100th anniversary of the ill fated maiden voyage of the Titanic. I don't know why, but ever since I was a kid I have been fascinated by the whole thing. It's so incredibly awful. I remember facts I learned in probably third or fourth grade that have stuck with me.
I remember when I was probably no more than five and watching "The Unsinkable Molly Brown" and being so touched by her survival tactics. The first time I went do Denver, my very first site seeing touristy thing to do was to go to her house.
I remember when the movie came out I saw it several times in the theater. I know people have called it way overrated, but it's not the story of Jack and Rose that I care about. I mean, sure it's sad blah blah blah... but it's the lives of the real people on board that ship. The Astors, The Strauses (probably one of the most amazing love stories ever)- Thomas Andrews, Benjamin Guggenheim... so many people. So many who will never have their stories told.
A few years ago the exhibition was in Denver and I went. As you walk in they give you the name of a passenger and then as you leave, you see the fate of your passenger. I can't recall the name, but my passenger was a young woman on her honeymoon. She survived. Her Husband did not. Ugh. How awful.
I went to the movie today to commemorate the day they set sail. I was the only person in the theater (well, after a while a couple came in and sat in the very top row and were rude through a good part of the movie and then left as soon as the ship went down- stopping of course to have a "King of the World" moment at the railing [eye roll] jerks.) I remember the first time I saw it I cried when the musicians started to play "Nearer My God to Thee." Another time I cried when I saw the mother and baby in the water. Never once did I cry for Jack and Rose (sorry...) Today I started even sooner than that- I just watched the people, and how utterly clueless they were. I kept wanting to jump into the screen and scream "Stop it! don't you know what is about to happen?!" It's much the same when I look at old photos of the actual ship. I wish I could time travel and warn them.
The fear that had to be going through everyone on that ship is what overwhelmed me today. I absolutely cannot fathom that kind of fear. Total fear for my life. Is this it? I always say I'm ready to go whenever... but really? Could I have faced that calmly? I would imagine not. It kills me, the mothers fearing for the lives of their children. The husbands seeing their families ripped from their grasp, not knowing when or if they'll see those faces again. And the utter disbelief of the captain, crew and ship builder. How could this happen? How could we be so arrogant as to issue the words, "God Himself cannot sink this ship"?
Anyway, this has gotten much more wordy than I planned. But it is something that really touches my soul. I feel for them. I hate that they suffered so cruelly. And because I am the ward music chair- I get to choose what we sing in church. Sunday is the official 100 year of the sinking. We will be singing "Nearer My God to Thee." I will probably be the only one who realizes the significance. And I will probably be crying.
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