Tuesday, June 17, 2014

My Life Plan

My friend and I were discussing my life today at work- and how I'm giving up (again) on everything. I've decided to become a crazy cat lady- only... I don't want cats. So I'd be a crazy cat-less lady... or in most circles, I'd just be a crazy lady.  She suggested I should wear a cape. I thought a tinfoil one would be appropriate- but when she suggested a crocheted cape- my life changed. I could see my future unfolding before me.

When I was a teenager, someone gave me a book called As the Ward Turns by Joni Hilton. I can't remember who gave it to me- or why (I'm not generally one to read religious fiction [my exceptions are the Work and the Glory series, Children of the Promise {which are both more historical fiction} and the Tennis Shoes Among the Nephites series {which is pure awesome ridiculousness}]) but I read it and thought it was one of the funniest books I've ever read.

There is a character in the book- I can't even remember her name- but... well, let me tell you about her.

She was an old lady that no one in the neighborhood really knew. The house that she lived in- she built herself with particle board and a glue gun. Everything in the house is covered in something crocheted. The carpets, the couches, the tables- everything was draped with a doily or blanket or something crocheted. Even her cat- who she talked to and scolded when he tried to piddle on the rug- was crocheted.

This, dear readers, is who I'm going to start modeling my life after. I'm going to be the crazy crochet lady. I'm not crafty enough to build my house out of particle board so I'll have to settle for a regular ol residence... but I can learn how to crochet! And I can totally collect crocheted critters (why limit it to just cats?)

Actually, now that I think about it... I tried crocheting once and it didn't work out so well. Sigh... back to the drawing board...

And before we conclude this I'm-totally-bored-at-work-so-just-humor-me blog post, will you PLEASE look at that second paragraph and take a minute to admire the parenthetical conversation I had with myself.  ADMIRE IT!!!


Amy said...

Have you read the Prelude to Glory series? It is my favorite. LOVE it so, so much.

Melissa Ann said...

I too have read that book! I love the part about her brother! I think you should rethink the crochet part it would be awesome!