2017 a year in Facebook Statuses

January

Today starts a new year. All fresh with no mistakes in it… Yet. Good luck!

I'm going to get caught up on my blog if it kills me!

One more hallmark movie for the road. #theninelivesofchristmas

ilovemyjobilovemyjobilovemyjobilovemyjobilovemyjobilovemyjobilovemyjobilovemyjobilovemyjob

I've had a string of rough days, but today- Friday the 13th of all days- was a great, great day. I'm sure my luck won't last- but it was a nice change of pace to have such a lovely day. ☺️ it will go down in history as the best Friday the 13th ever! And yes, I waited till after midnight to post this so the universe wouldn't see it as a challenge.

Do you remember what you were doing three years ago this very minute? I do. I know I probably talk about it too much. And I'm not looking for attention or sympathy (ok, maybe a little, or I wouldn't be posting this on social media), but I miss my sister. Three years without my best friend. I'm grateful for the time I had with her, and I constantly have to remind myself that she is out of pain, but the selfish beast in me would have her back.

It seems as though some people only exist to make your life hell. Congratulations, irritating human. You're succeeding.

Just went to the dentist and my face is numb up to my ears. #ICantTellifImDrooling

Well, Boys and girls. It's unofficially official that Greece is not happening this year. Not because I've been denied my promotion in the VL club, but because the universe has decided to deny me the simple pleasure of having something to look forward to. I WILL however be celebrating the arrival of a new washing machine. yaaaaay. 😕

Pity party is over. Who's ready for some volleyball?!?!?

February

Still feeling the effects of 2016. Any time I see a picture of a beloved celeb, or church leader on Facebook I think, "oh crap, did he/she die!?! Oh... It's just a quote. Whew!"

I have a really personal confession to make: (avert your eyes if you blush easily) Sometimes I think about skipping flossing.😁

It's #oscars night! (Please be better than last year) 🎥🎬💃🏆

March

The *only* good thing about 1:00 church is daylight savings doesn't suck as bad that first day. (Speaking for those without littles, of course).

Well, it happened. I found a musical i don't like. I watched Chicago when I was fresh off the mish and didn't care for it. I thought maybe I was just too sensitive at the time so after nearly 14 years I gave it another chance. Nope. It's got some catchy tunes, but the story does not leave you feeling uplifted or happy. Musicals should make you happy. Chicago, you suck. But I still love John C Reilly.

The power is out in Millcreek. Everyone in the hospital is going home...
Except me. I'm training in a different department so that puts me in the ONE building in a 6 block radius that is not affected. Luck...?

The power is also off at home. Can't cook. Can't watch TV. Can't practice the (electric) piano. No laundry. Limited Internet...? Dishes it is

Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy...!

Dear alarm clock,
I wasn't done sleeping yet.
Sincerlzzzzzzzz.......

Sometimes you have to put the kids to bed early and make cookies. 
And by "Kids" I mean cats. And by "cookies" I mean cookie dough of which I have no intentions of sharing. 🐱🍪😈





April

"... His melodic messianic intercession..." I love Elder Holland. #ldsgeneralconference

Pocatello, Idaho!!!! #myhometown #ldstemples#generalconference

Who would you call for an injured duck? She's clearly been ruffled and he's just standing there not knowing what to do. It's sad that the most comforting place she could find was a pathetic puddle in the middle of a huge parking lot. 😞

Edit

My cat has stolen (and hidden) all my makeup brushes. Uuuuugh..... 😫 #catsarejerks

Ask me about that one time a hoho saved my life..

Nothing ruins a nice, relaxing Saturday like having to go to work. Blah.

May

And now they're stealing jewelry. I literally live with cat burglars! Uuugggghhhhhhhhh #catsarejerks

*plays in a bucket of water and gets soaking wet* "where's the best place to dry off?" Mom's bed. Uuuuuuugh. #catsarejerks

After all these years of wondering... After all the questioning... in the realms of all that could be possible... I am proud to announce...
I can still ride a bike. 🚲

I. Am. In. Love...
With Oregon.

Trying to take a nap + not mess up your hair = a kink in the neck and a dead arm.

Two of my baby nieces are graduating this year. Shayla from community college and Mercedes from high school. Both of them chose not to walk at graduation, which is totally fine by me because it saves me from making a spectacle of myself bawling through Pomp and Circumstance (which, if you know me at all- you know I can't help but weep uncontrollably when I hear it). But I'm awfully proud of my super smart, amazingly talented and gorgeous girls! (who obviously take after their aunt).

For some silly reason, I gave up chocolate for a month. Just to see if I could do it (there was one tiny oops, but it was a genuine oops- not a cave in) and tomorrow is Chocolate 1st. Bring. On. The. Cocoa! 🍩🍪🍫

June

How many sparkly items can you wear before it's considered tacky?💎💍

Everyone has hidden talents. Mine just happens to be that I can tell you to shut your mouth in six different languages.

I love it when Macy Baker comes to stay with me
It's the only time of year I get to use the carpool lane!

So one of the fun things about Facebook is the "on this day" page where you can see your posts from this date in years past, right? Well, reading through my old status updates, I used to post very vague and ambiguous things. How irritating. I'm sorry

I've been on a "me date" all day. Last thing of the day is a play at Hale center theater. To my left is a couple who have been married for decades. To my right, a couple on their first date. And me. In the middle... just... doin my thing.

Breakfast for dinner. #donttellmom

Happy 20th anniversary Harry Potter. You've changed my life. 
Love, a Ravenclaw.

When you have to hide your pen *inside* your journal so your cat won't steal it. #catsarejerks

July

Off to sit on a mountain...

I don't want to go to bed because then Monday will come that much faster. Sigh...

Oh good heavens! Someone please help me! I have the song #princesspat stuck in my head! Aaaauuuggghhhh!!! #arigabamboo #whatisthat? #itsredandgold #andpurpletoo #girlscampsongs

It's past 2 am and I'm sitting here watching Life Hack videos. Has my life sunk this low?

I don't trust people who claim to be "huge Harry Potter fans" and yet don't know to which house they belong and have never even heard of #Pottermore.

Anybody going to Disneyland anytime soon? My sunglasses broke... Again. :-(

Last chance to have a "Christmas in July" marathon. Hello Hallmark movies. 🎅🎄🎁#AnyExcusetoWatch9LivesofChristmas


August 

I've never pretended to be a fashionista by any standard... but I just don't understand the trend of shoulder cut outs. Not that they're bad... I just don't get it.

Las Vegas is hot. Hell can't even be this hot. Holy crap. God bless the inventor of AC!

I'm not sure if I'm more annoyed that my phone doesn't work, or that I have to put on pants to go get it fixed.

Aaaaaand I have a new phone. 😩💸💸💸

Two thoughts on this Monday morning: 1. I have the song "It's the End of the World as We Know it" stuck in my head. 
2. I took extra care to look nice today because if it today really is the end of the world, I want my ghost to look decent. 👻#solareclipse

Ahhh... Anxiety my old friend. Let me make you some cookie dough and try to drown you...

It's taken me nearly 40 years to realize... 66, 68, 70, 72, 77, 84. I am the only odd one in my family. 
😳 🙈🙉🙊 😝

September

So I'm driving home from job 2... Not paying attention and turned on the wrong road. So do I drive a mile for no reason or do I stop for ice cream and pretend I did it on purpose...? 🍦

Last night I dreamed about Benedict Cumberbatch. He is a GREAT kisser. My apologies to his real wife, Sophie. And Anadine, who has already dream claimed him.

In need of a 1-2 bedroom rental *immediately.* Pet friendly preferable and as inexpensive as possible. If any of my Salt Lake area friends know of anything, your help is greatly appreciated. When my mom got home last night she asked if I'd watched the news: "I didn't need to. Half the world is under water, the other half is on fire and Trump's an idiot. Those are the headlines." She didn't argue.

I survived Katie Rockwood 's 700 mile "flat hike" through Snow Canyon. #bookclubadventures #theytriedtokillme #isurvived @ Snow Canyon State Park


October

My book club is better than your book club.

Aaaaaand just like that, I'm 40. #oldmaid #crazycatlady #GoddessoftheVLclub

Watching the kitties play is all well and good... Until the rough housing causes a kitty to step on your dinner. 😠#catsarejerks

Me too.

tickets for the MoTab Christmas concert are available tomorrow at 10 am sharp. Last year they were gone in less than 10 minutes. I have to work tomorrow so if anyone is feeling charitable and would like to try to score some tickets for me, I'd be in your debt! 

I don't care what anyone else thinks. I think I'm hilarious.

My cat just got stuck in the heater vent. Repeat. My. Cat. Just. Got. Stuck. In. The. Heater. Vent. We called for reinforcements, but were able to get her out before they arrived. Anybody want a very dusty little monster? Uuuuugh... #catsarejerks


November

I know I strike most people as super confident, but only because I avoid things that scare me. I hate confrontation. I avoid it at all costs- which allows a lot of people to take advantage of my weakness. Today, with the help of my cousin Sharon, I confronted the building manager of my former residence. I know I did nothing wrong in that situation, but going back and facing her was one of the most terrifying things I've done. Long story short, I got my full deposit back.

It has taken years to perfect- but I finally have the BEST Pandora Christmas station!

1. I went to see Coco with my niece and nephew.
2. It was awesome
3. I didn't cry.
One of those sentences is a lie.

December


That moment you smash a spider but you're not sure if you hit it and you never see it again. #itsgoingtocomeaftermeinmysleep

Karma got me today. And I can't even get mad because I totally deserved it.

I don't want to go. Please don't make me go. 😭#caseofthemondays

Edit

I never thought it would happen... But I think I've officially hit my limit of Hallmark movies. #timeforabreak #theyareallthesame

Getting tickets to see #mormontabernaclechoir was a #miracle. Being in the same room as @bonhughbon and @suttonlenore was a #dream. When did I become so #lucky? #hughbonneville #suttonfoster #motab #sunshineonmyshouldersmakesmehappy

I just received the highest compliment a Mormon can get. "Good talk, Heather. I didn't fall asleep once." Woohoo! #speakinginchurch

Season's greetings! It's the Shortest day of the year. That means the days are gonna start getting longer! #thinkspring

If anyone out there wants to buy me a house, or donate $100,000 dollars so I can... I wouldn't get mad. Just putting it out there.

I'm watching The Sword in the Stone as I'm packing for my trip... why does Merlin have to show off his magical packing skills? #IHatePacking #showoff

I rarely resolve much because no one every actually sticks to it... but I really have a goal to keep up on my blog this next year. Last year was a bust... we'll see how it goes.

All Hail the Goddess

For years I have been the butt of my own personal joke. I have been a proud (?) member of the V.L. club my entire life. At 16 I became Vice President. At 20 I became President, 25, Princess, 30 Queen, 35, Empress and for the last few years it was my goal to spend my 40th birthday in Greece, where I would celebrate my Ascension as Goddess of the V.L. club.

I've seriously been talking about it for years. I even had someone lined up to go with me (which turned out well for her that we didn't go because she managed to snag herself a boyfriend that weekend! Woohoo!). I even took on a second job so that I could earn the money to go.  But, as you know, life happened and I wasn't able to make it work.

Sometimes I say that I am part of the best book club in the world. I know you think it's cliche and that everyone says that their book club is the best. But mine actually IS the best.  I've been in this book club for four years now. I am a total outsider of the group. Everyone else has a history- either as family, college roommates, old coworkers or ward members. I was invited by Anadine, a friend of a friend from Denver. I don't know what compelled her to invite me to this exclusive (yes, exclusive) book club- but she did... and they let me stay.

At one of the spring book clubs, I mentioned that I was not going to be able to make it on my trip and how sad I was about it. But oh well, life goes on, right? Well, in July, Candi told me to keep the weekend of Sept 29th free. All they would say is that it was a surprise. I had no idea what was going on, but I made sure to ask for it off at work well in advance so I could get it.

Over the next few months I would get random texts asking, "Are you scuba certified?" and "do you have improv theater experience?" 

Uhhh.....

As the weekend approached and I was in the middle of moving I text Candi and we had the following conversation: (Candi, you don't mind that I'm dramatizing the texts do you?)

   Me: Soooo.. I'm all for surprises, but I'm packing up my house so I can be out before our                     adventure.      is there anything in particular I should leave unpacked?

   C: Ooh, good question. Sleeping bag or other bedding like sheets and blankets that are packable.         But if you don't it's not a big deal. Shoes that you can hike in, dressy clothes and casual clothes,           mildly athletic clothes, but not crazy. It's not  3 day basketball camp.

   Me: Hmmm (emoji)

   C: Jacket, but no coat or sweatshirt

   Me: Will you judge me if I wear a Twilight sweatshirt?

   C: Ha! No more than usual

   Me: Hahaha! Gee thanks.

  C: Are you going to take it off every 20 minutes, you know, like the werewolf?

So you can see I was thoroughly perplexed. I only saw "hiking" and "sleeping bag" and thought, Oh crap- they're taking me camping. Don't they know me at all?!

We met Friday morning at Candi's house. I was late- but I was still one of the first to arrive. One of the girls in our club, Marie, lives in the D.C. area and skypes in for book club. When I walked in the door and saw her sitting there, I almost burst into tears. She'd come clear across the country for this! I've only met her a few times in person and I literally only know her through skype- but she came. She came for this crazy adventure that was organized for me!

All the others who were close by showed up; Kristen, Megan, Liz, Katie. We were missing two in number. Anadine and Jessica couldn't get away. Sad. But the rest of us piled into two vans and drove down to Saratoga Springs to pick up the remaining members, Natalie and Susan.

Candi mentioned a four hour drive. I started to suspect. But I didn't want to spoil anything. We stopped in Scipio for a potty break and decided to just have lunch while we were there. There was a Dairy Queen in the gas station so we took it outside and ate near the (closed) petting zoo. 

As we continued down south, I taught them (and probably annoyed them with) my "Mormon" game that I played with my nieces and nephews this summer. Every time you see an LDS church you shout, "MORMONS!" If you see a temple it's "Moroni Mormon!" and if you see missionaries it's "Mormon Mormon!" 

It's a lot more fun to play in Utah and Idaho, that's for sure. But the game originated in Colorado on my summer trip to Mesa Verde with Macy.

Anyway, we got to St George and passed right on through... huh... ok. I thought we were going to St George. We drove in to Ivins- which I'd never even heard of- and stopped at someone's house. I was soooo confused. BUT it turns out that Candi's Grandma-in-law has a house there and is not currently using it so it's kind of the family time-share. That's where we were staying.

Once we were settled in, Candi revealed the secret. We were going to see Mamma Mia! at Tuachan.

Because it's set in Greece.

  

I was so touched that they remembered that this birthday was supposed to be in Greece. I mean, the trip was nice enough by itself, but to remember that silly little detail... was just so sweet.

We found a place for dinner- some random BBQ place that was inside a gas station. Don't let that sentence deceive you. In my experience, gas station diners in St George are wicked awesome! It was maybe the best pulled pork I'd ever had in my life. While we were eating, my cousin Sharon called me to tell me the drama that was going on with my apartment. I'd moved out just a few days before- but it was still technically my apartment so she was keeping me apprised of what was going on- and really standing up for me in a way I wouldn't have been able to do.

After dinner we headed up to Tuachan.  We got there with barely enough time to take a few obligatory pics and get in our seats.

Have you seen Mamma Mia? I'd seen it before- and I love the movie. Who doesn't love the music of ABBA, seriously? As we were sitting there, watching this awesome play, the weather was so perfect, my cousin was taking care of business back home and I was surrounded by this crazy group of ladies who'd organized all of this. For Me. 

Right there in the middle of the play, I started to tear up. I was so overwhelmed with how loved I felt. So grateful in that moment for where God has placed me in my life. I have no idea what's going to happen next- but in that moment I felt very, VERY loved. So thank you.

After the play we headed back to the house for bed. Bed. Ha! Yeah right. 

Megan made a friend in the garage. He wasn't a prince, but it never hurts to try just in case.

In this house there were three bedrooms. One with a king size bed, one with a queen and one with a twin/trundle. There was also a futon and Megan brought a blow up  mattress. (I chose the futon. Never EVER choose the futon- there was a bar down the middle of it and when I rolled to the edge to avoid the bar, the bed flipped and threw me against the wall. hahahahaha! I spent the rest of the night on one of the little love seats- sitting up)

I'm getting ahead of myself. We got home and somehow all congregated into the room with the king size bed. If you're wondering if the workmanship of that bed was high quality? Yes. It held all nine of us!

We stayed up till past 2am talking, giggling and just all sorts of silly merriment. Megen, Katie and I are the only single ones in the group, so we had to update them all on our oh-so-exciting dating (or in my case, non-dating) exploits. It's always my favorite part of book club- and usually I don't have anything to contribute, but thanks to the creepy courier at work, I had a story to tell. Ok, and other stuff too- but what happens at book club- stays at book club, mmkay?

The next day we all prepared to go on a hike. Katie is an avid hiker- like, she spends more time in the mountains than she does at home. First we headed into St George for breakfast. I didn't even have to tell them how much I love the Bear Paw Diner- apparently the secret is out that it's the best breakfast in Southern Utah!

Once we are all stuffed to the gills with this amazing food, we went for a hike.

(PSA: don't hike when you're so full of biscuits and gravy that you can hardly walk)

We drove to Snow Canyon and hiked, looking for petroglyphs. In keeping with the Grecian theme, it was the closest we could get to ancient ruins.

This is us before the hike- notice we're still smiling and happy?

The trail wasn't so bad. It was fairly flat at first. But I have never hiked in sand before. It's HARD!  We had to stop every few hundred yards to empty the sand out of our shoes.

  

  

The trail wasn't super clearly marked so there were a few times where some of us would chill for a bit while Katie and a few others would scout on ahead to make sure we were headed in the right direction.

After a mile or so we lost the sand and were on slick rock- which meant some rock climbing. That was fine. But can I just say that up is a heck of a lot easier than down!? 

We followed trail markers and the advice of some other hikers we'd met coming back. We found the first hidden slot and made our way through the crevice. 

Here we found petroglyphs. I've never seen them in person before. It was so awesome! I just can't imagine why someone was down there carving these into the wall... and how the heck did someone find them? Honestly, if someone had not pointed them out to me I would not have noticed them.  They show up a lot better in photographs- in person they're really hard to see.

There was a couple down in the slot before we got there. We'd already be hiking for hours and they said it took them five minutes to get there. They cut across private property. We'd seen that trail, but we're rule followers. But, they were kind enough to take a picture of all of us.

We headed out of the slot... some of us easier than others. I got caught in the tree that stands guard over the ancient carvings.

Kristen had to help untangle me.

By this time in the hike some were starting to get tired. Kristen was taking care of me and asked several times if I wanted to stop- that we could go back to the car and be done. No. They organized this adventure for me and I was not about to wimp out. But I was grateful that she offered. There was a lot more climbing, and hiking and resting and sand removal.  

It was honestly so beautiful out there!

We were looking for the Newspaper rock. Some other hikers we'd met told us it wasn't far so we kept going... but once again, we just could not find the proper trail. Now people were starting to run out of water- and it was hot. Not like, vultures were circling us hot- but warm enough that you didn't want to run out of water. Katie kept trying to find the trail, but she could sense a mutiny was mounting, so we went back to the slot. From there we could either hike the two or so miles back the way we came- or take the short cut across private property. Remember how I said we are rule followers?

Yeah, I lied. We totally took the shortcut. It literally took us 15 minutes to get back to the car. 

Look really closely... you can see us in the distance

I am SO glad we did it. No seriously, it was awesome. Now that I know what to expect, I could probably do that hike again. I probably *won't*, but I *could*.

We were all bedraggled and covered in red sand, but you can see from the smiles on our faces that we all enjoyed it. We emptied our shoes one last time and headed back to town.

My van stopped at a gas station to get ice, and I stood there and drank two bottles of water and drank the third one on the way home.

We took turns getting cleaned up and showered. I thought for sure I would be beat- but I felt totally energized after that. We had made reservations at a Hawaiian restaurant. After that morning's breakfast I didn't think I would ever eat again. I still wasn't very hungry. I said all I wanted was a bathtub filled with ice water and a straw. But when we sat down and ordered, I was suddenly ravenous and the food tasted so incredible!

That evening we were just going to hang out at the house. I knew they'd brought a cake for my birthday, so one car headed home, and the one I was in headed to the store for more munchies. I didn't suspect the following:

When my van got back home and we walked in... those who had gotten there before us were dressed...

...in Togas.

Oh. My. Gosh!

That's why Candi had said to bring sheets! Of course, not realizing that, the sheets that I brought were bright, BRIGHT pink. They fitted me up with my toga and put some laurel leaves in my hair and we sat around and had a toga party. Hahaha!

We made sure to take pictures of us trying to be Grecian statues...

We played a silly getting to know you type game, and they sang to me and and we had cake. It was just the funnest night!

At bedtime I opted for couch cushions on the floor rather than the futon. Some adventures are only meant to be had once.

The next day we cleaned up the house and hit the road. We stopped in Beaver for a picnic lunch. It was meant to be had on the hike, but it didn't happen- so we had all this lovely picnic food. 

So you see when I say that my book club is better than yours, I'm not kidding. They planned his whole crazy weekend just for me. I will never be able to express how grateful I am to them for this thoughtful gesture. I had no idea they liked me so very much. But I sure felt loved after that.

Thanks ladies, I believe my coronation to Goddess of the V.L. club was a smashing success! 

40, here I come!

Afterthought- At a later time, Katie added our two missing members to a couple of the group photos- this is the whole book club!