2017 a year in Facebook Statuses

January

Today starts a new year. All fresh with no mistakes in it… Yet. Good luck!

I'm going to get caught up on my blog if it kills me!

One more hallmark movie for the road. #theninelivesofchristmas

ilovemyjobilovemyjobilovemyjobilovemyjobilovemyjobilovemyjobilovemyjobilovemyjobilovemyjob

I've had a string of rough days, but today- Friday the 13th of all days- was a great, great day. I'm sure my luck won't last- but it was a nice change of pace to have such a lovely day. ☺️ it will go down in history as the best Friday the 13th ever! And yes, I waited till after midnight to post this so the universe wouldn't see it as a challenge.

Do you remember what you were doing three years ago this very minute? I do. I know I probably talk about it too much. And I'm not looking for attention or sympathy (ok, maybe a little, or I wouldn't be posting this on social media), but I miss my sister. Three years without my best friend. I'm grateful for the time I had with her, and I constantly have to remind myself that she is out of pain, but the selfish beast in me would have her back.

It seems as though some people only exist to make your life hell. Congratulations, irritating human. You're succeeding.

Just went to the dentist and my face is numb up to my ears. #ICantTellifImDrooling

Well, Boys and girls. It's unofficially official that Greece is not happening this year. Not because I've been denied my promotion in the VL club, but because the universe has decided to deny me the simple pleasure of having something to look forward to. I WILL however be celebrating the arrival of a new washing machine. yaaaaay. 😕

Pity party is over. Who's ready for some volleyball?!?!?

February

Still feeling the effects of 2016. Any time I see a picture of a beloved celeb, or church leader on Facebook I think, "oh crap, did he/she die!?! Oh... It's just a quote. Whew!"

I have a really personal confession to make: (avert your eyes if you blush easily) Sometimes I think about skipping flossing.😁

It's #oscars night! (Please be better than last year) 🎥🎬💃🏆

March

The *only* good thing about 1:00 church is daylight savings doesn't suck as bad that first day. (Speaking for those without littles, of course).

Well, it happened. I found a musical i don't like. I watched Chicago when I was fresh off the mish and didn't care for it. I thought maybe I was just too sensitive at the time so after nearly 14 years I gave it another chance. Nope. It's got some catchy tunes, but the story does not leave you feeling uplifted or happy. Musicals should make you happy. Chicago, you suck. But I still love John C Reilly.

The power is out in Millcreek. Everyone in the hospital is going home...
Except me. I'm training in a different department so that puts me in the ONE building in a 6 block radius that is not affected. Luck...?

The power is also off at home. Can't cook. Can't watch TV. Can't practice the (electric) piano. No laundry. Limited Internet...? Dishes it is

Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy...!

Dear alarm clock,
I wasn't done sleeping yet.
Sincerlzzzzzzzz.......

Sometimes you have to put the kids to bed early and make cookies. 
And by "Kids" I mean cats. And by "cookies" I mean cookie dough of which I have no intentions of sharing. 🐱🍪😈





April

"... His melodic messianic intercession..." I love Elder Holland. #ldsgeneralconference

Pocatello, Idaho!!!! #myhometown #ldstemples#generalconference

Who would you call for an injured duck? She's clearly been ruffled and he's just standing there not knowing what to do. It's sad that the most comforting place she could find was a pathetic puddle in the middle of a huge parking lot. 😞

Edit

My cat has stolen (and hidden) all my makeup brushes. Uuuuugh..... 😫 #catsarejerks

Ask me about that one time a hoho saved my life..

Nothing ruins a nice, relaxing Saturday like having to go to work. Blah.

May

And now they're stealing jewelry. I literally live with cat burglars! Uuugggghhhhhhhhh #catsarejerks

*plays in a bucket of water and gets soaking wet* "where's the best place to dry off?" Mom's bed. Uuuuuuugh. #catsarejerks

After all these years of wondering... After all the questioning... in the realms of all that could be possible... I am proud to announce...
I can still ride a bike. 🚲

I. Am. In. Love...
With Oregon.

Trying to take a nap + not mess up your hair = a kink in the neck and a dead arm.

Two of my baby nieces are graduating this year. Shayla from community college and Mercedes from high school. Both of them chose not to walk at graduation, which is totally fine by me because it saves me from making a spectacle of myself bawling through Pomp and Circumstance (which, if you know me at all- you know I can't help but weep uncontrollably when I hear it). But I'm awfully proud of my super smart, amazingly talented and gorgeous girls! (who obviously take after their aunt).

For some silly reason, I gave up chocolate for a month. Just to see if I could do it (there was one tiny oops, but it was a genuine oops- not a cave in) and tomorrow is Chocolate 1st. Bring. On. The. Cocoa! 🍩🍪🍫

June

How many sparkly items can you wear before it's considered tacky?💎💍

Everyone has hidden talents. Mine just happens to be that I can tell you to shut your mouth in six different languages.

I love it when Macy Baker comes to stay with me
It's the only time of year I get to use the carpool lane!

So one of the fun things about Facebook is the "on this day" page where you can see your posts from this date in years past, right? Well, reading through my old status updates, I used to post very vague and ambiguous things. How irritating. I'm sorry

I've been on a "me date" all day. Last thing of the day is a play at Hale center theater. To my left is a couple who have been married for decades. To my right, a couple on their first date. And me. In the middle... just... doin my thing.

Breakfast for dinner. #donttellmom

Happy 20th anniversary Harry Potter. You've changed my life. 
Love, a Ravenclaw.

When you have to hide your pen *inside* your journal so your cat won't steal it. #catsarejerks

July

Off to sit on a mountain...

I don't want to go to bed because then Monday will come that much faster. Sigh...

Oh good heavens! Someone please help me! I have the song #princesspat stuck in my head! Aaaauuuggghhhh!!! #arigabamboo #whatisthat? #itsredandgold #andpurpletoo #girlscampsongs

It's past 2 am and I'm sitting here watching Life Hack videos. Has my life sunk this low?

I don't trust people who claim to be "huge Harry Potter fans" and yet don't know to which house they belong and have never even heard of #Pottermore.

Anybody going to Disneyland anytime soon? My sunglasses broke... Again. :-(

Last chance to have a "Christmas in July" marathon. Hello Hallmark movies. 🎅🎄🎁#AnyExcusetoWatch9LivesofChristmas


August 

I've never pretended to be a fashionista by any standard... but I just don't understand the trend of shoulder cut outs. Not that they're bad... I just don't get it.

Las Vegas is hot. Hell can't even be this hot. Holy crap. God bless the inventor of AC!

I'm not sure if I'm more annoyed that my phone doesn't work, or that I have to put on pants to go get it fixed.

Aaaaaand I have a new phone. 😩💸💸💸

Two thoughts on this Monday morning: 1. I have the song "It's the End of the World as We Know it" stuck in my head. 
2. I took extra care to look nice today because if it today really is the end of the world, I want my ghost to look decent. 👻#solareclipse

Ahhh... Anxiety my old friend. Let me make you some cookie dough and try to drown you...

It's taken me nearly 40 years to realize... 66, 68, 70, 72, 77, 84. I am the only odd one in my family. 
😳 🙈🙉🙊 😝

September

So I'm driving home from job 2... Not paying attention and turned on the wrong road. So do I drive a mile for no reason or do I stop for ice cream and pretend I did it on purpose...? 🍦

Last night I dreamed about Benedict Cumberbatch. He is a GREAT kisser. My apologies to his real wife, Sophie. And Anadine, who has already dream claimed him.

In need of a 1-2 bedroom rental *immediately.* Pet friendly preferable and as inexpensive as possible. If any of my Salt Lake area friends know of anything, your help is greatly appreciated. When my mom got home last night she asked if I'd watched the news: "I didn't need to. Half the world is under water, the other half is on fire and Trump's an idiot. Those are the headlines." She didn't argue.

I survived Katie Rockwood 's 700 mile "flat hike" through Snow Canyon. #bookclubadventures #theytriedtokillme #isurvived @ Snow Canyon State Park


October

My book club is better than your book club.

Aaaaaand just like that, I'm 40. #oldmaid #crazycatlady #GoddessoftheVLclub

Watching the kitties play is all well and good... Until the rough housing causes a kitty to step on your dinner. 😠#catsarejerks

Me too.

tickets for the MoTab Christmas concert are available tomorrow at 10 am sharp. Last year they were gone in less than 10 minutes. I have to work tomorrow so if anyone is feeling charitable and would like to try to score some tickets for me, I'd be in your debt! 

I don't care what anyone else thinks. I think I'm hilarious.

My cat just got stuck in the heater vent. Repeat. My. Cat. Just. Got. Stuck. In. The. Heater. Vent. We called for reinforcements, but were able to get her out before they arrived. Anybody want a very dusty little monster? Uuuuugh... #catsarejerks


November

I know I strike most people as super confident, but only because I avoid things that scare me. I hate confrontation. I avoid it at all costs- which allows a lot of people to take advantage of my weakness. Today, with the help of my cousin Sharon, I confronted the building manager of my former residence. I know I did nothing wrong in that situation, but going back and facing her was one of the most terrifying things I've done. Long story short, I got my full deposit back.

It has taken years to perfect- but I finally have the BEST Pandora Christmas station!

1. I went to see Coco with my niece and nephew.
2. It was awesome
3. I didn't cry.
One of those sentences is a lie.

December


That moment you smash a spider but you're not sure if you hit it and you never see it again. #itsgoingtocomeaftermeinmysleep

Karma got me today. And I can't even get mad because I totally deserved it.

I don't want to go. Please don't make me go. 😭#caseofthemondays

Edit

I never thought it would happen... But I think I've officially hit my limit of Hallmark movies. #timeforabreak #theyareallthesame

Getting tickets to see #mormontabernaclechoir was a #miracle. Being in the same room as @bonhughbon and @suttonlenore was a #dream. When did I become so #lucky? #hughbonneville #suttonfoster #motab #sunshineonmyshouldersmakesmehappy

I just received the highest compliment a Mormon can get. "Good talk, Heather. I didn't fall asleep once." Woohoo! #speakinginchurch

Season's greetings! It's the Shortest day of the year. That means the days are gonna start getting longer! #thinkspring

If anyone out there wants to buy me a house, or donate $100,000 dollars so I can... I wouldn't get mad. Just putting it out there.

I'm watching The Sword in the Stone as I'm packing for my trip... why does Merlin have to show off his magical packing skills? #IHatePacking #showoff

I rarely resolve much because no one every actually sticks to it... but I really have a goal to keep up on my blog this next year. Last year was a bust... we'll see how it goes.