Facebook Status Highlights 2013

January

One pink shoe- One blue shoe. I have *got* to stop getting dressed in the dark.

I had a dream the other night that Johnny Depp called and asked me to bring my 6 year old cousin over to play with his daughter. I looked horrible and my sister asked why I even bothered to answer the phone. The answer was easy, "When Johnny Depp calls--- YOU ANSWER!"

Please let me into the movie! please please please!!!!

I've decided to scrap everything and take up a career in religious architecture. There's money in that right?

February

I have to turn in my Baker card. I forgot to put eggs in the cake. [hangs head in shame]

Pandora should come with this warning: playing with Pandora while doing your makeup may result in you showing up to work with only one eyebrow.

It's only marginally intimidating when you have your boss and your boss's boss lurking over your shoulder watching and listening to every word as you interview the CEO. I may have been a nervous wreck, but I think I made a good impression.

There are no words in the English language to adequately express how much I don't want to go to work tomorrow.

Dear friends who are related to/married to/or are in fact Doctors, Is there a class in medical school, or is it written on their/your diploma that once you have your degree, you have given up all necessity of common courtesy and can therefore act like a total ass whenever you fancy?

I'm doing a very dumb thing... watching the scariest Dr Who right before bed. The lights will probably be left on. But I just can't resist!!!

Where did this giggling idiot come from? Please send her back to High School. She has no place in my brain.

March

I am in Utah. Met a girl who lives in Wisconsin. She's from Connecticut. and she knows a family I knew in New Jersey. Who says the world isn't small?

I dreamed last night that the StayPuft  marshmallow man was running down my street. As he passed my house, his head fell off. What do you think Freud would make of that?

They say the more attracted you are to someone, the easier it is for them to make you laugh. No *wonder* I laugh at my own jokes!

Had eggs for breakfast they were chocolate covered marshmallow eggs- but eggs nonetheless.

It's been so long since I've been in public I don't remember how to behave...

So.Freaking.Bored. Isn't there a store or somewhere I can buy a life? A cheap one, of course.

Be ye warned: If I see you in the next 23 hours and 45 minutes and you are not wearing visible green- I will pinch you.

Cleaning my room while watching Disney movies... It's the spoonful of sugar that makes my medicine go down.

Oh man, my sisters are in town. Watch out Salt
Lake! The Baker girls are on the loose!

Evidence that I'm not the brightest crayon in the box: Got my hair done today, Didn't look in the mirror for several hours, then when I did- freaked out because I didn't recognize my own reflection.

April

So I've decided that I am in fact a morning person- I'm just not a work person. Work always seems to kill the smiles fairly quickly.

If nobody is awake to see you eat a 2nd pint of s'mores ice cream, does it still have calories?

Sometimes when I'm sad I stalk Disneyland in google earth. That's normal, right?

I want a job where I get benefits, get to travel frequently, 3 months vacation every year, Monday-Friday 9am-11am with an hour lunch. Find me the job. Go.

I accomplished so much nothing today that it almost amounts to something.

May

I decree Wednesday, May 1, 2013 to be cookie calories don't count day!

I've never thought much of moving back to Idaho. But they have s'mores ice cream. I may have to rethink this.

Remember how I decreed May 1 as Cookie Calories Don't Count Day? Yeah, we better change that to the whole month. Why limit it to 24 hours?

Dear Mr Professional,

I pay you to help me, not be mean to me. I have plenty of people who are mean to me for free.

Dreams about wine drinking Muppet's and tap dancing Care Bears. What the heck is in this cold medicine!?

Word to the wise: if you text me at 3 a.m. And no one is dying. I will cut you.

I come up with some of the best pick up lines ever. Too bad no one ever hears them.

June

My almost brand new Disney hoodie is RUINED! Melted crayon *inside* the jacket between layers of fleece. I don't have kids! Why was there even a crayon in my car in the first place?!?!

I must be having a Charlie Brown evening. First my sweatshirt- then I dropped my watermelon walking in the house. Hahaha! Time for bed maybe.

I just thought of something I wanted to buy from Disneyland so I thought, "I'll just run to Downtown Disney and get it." and then I remembered I don't live in California.

4 year old neighbor boy walks in reeking of perfume. Me, "Have you been playing in the perfume?" Him, "no," me, "are you lying?" Him, " yes. Sorry."

Usually spending huge amounts of money on one things is fun- but when it's for something practical like tires- it sucks.

July

The goal? to eat a 12 pack of fudge sickles before my roommates come home. Ready go!

Where were you eight years ago today? I was in England. I'm homesick.

Bagpipe music in the air and men in kilts as far as the eye can see. I'm I at the Payson Scottish festival or have I died and gone to heaven?

I find it amusing that so many people are posting that they don't care about the royal baby- but obviously care enough about it to make a fuss on Facebook. If you truly didn't care you wouldn't feel the need to comment.

Today when I ran at the gym, I pretended I was running with The Doctor. The result? I would die quickly.

August

I wished on 13 shooting stars tonight. One of them had better come true!

First thought this morning: you need to wake up so you can take a nap later.

Where is the line between doing someone a service and becoming a chump?

I love it when Monday and Friday fall on the same day!

It's really hard to be the driver and the sightseer at the same time- But holy crap this place is beautiful! (Moab)

September

My "10 minutes on Pinterest" was up an hour ago...

I was thinking about moving back to Colorado... but I can't swim.

It's a sad day in the Bakeshow household when it's too cold to sleep with the windows open, :'-(

Isn't it sad that I have felt more welcome- and had more friendly conversations in the last three days in Colorado than I've had in two years in Utah? I'm seriously homesick and don't want to leave!

Ok, girls- I finally watched The Notebook. Didn't like it (waaaaaaaay too schmaltzy) and I still don't think Ryan Gosling is hot... not even attractive. Does that make me dead inside?

October

You call it stalking- I call it intense research.

I purposely kept my phone in a different room all night so I didn't have to listen to it *not* ring.

Every time it seems things are finally going my way, the universe punches me in the face and says NO!

I took part in the disaster drill tonight. I hope I never EVER have to do that for real. Even though I knew the blood was fake and the children weren't really shot/paralyzed/in agony... It was really hard to keep it together. I think I'm traumatized.

After 2.5 months, I FINALLY finished the unabridged version of Les Miserables. Not gonna lie- when I dropped it in the return bin at the library I was kind of hoping for a round of applause.

If the sorting hat tried to put me in Hufflepuff, I would pick it up and throw it across the Great Hall to prove I'm not nice. I am RAVENCLAW!

November

Hanging out with my family this weekend has reminded me why I look behind the shower curtain before using the bathroom.

Lucked out on free tickets tonight to see The Book Thief. If you liked the book you'll love the movie. Surprisingly true to the original story (as far as Hollywood allows). Three tissue movie at least.

Dominic the Donkey!!! Christmas has officially begun!! 

I shop in the same section of the shoe store as the drag queens. Not sure how that makes me feel.

Home in time for leftovers! 

December

Brrr... It's cold in my room! Just because I said I loved Frozen doesn't mean I want to reenact it!

Bought my kitty a game for the iPad. Like any spoiled child he played with it for three seconds then started to play with things that he shouldn't.

Everyone is constantly asking me why I'm sad. I'm not sad. Apparently I'm the human version of Grumpy Cat. That's just my face, people.

I have to turn in my girl card- for I hate shopping.

Today I am 13,225 days old. Today does not make it in the top 10,000 best days. And that's including the first 2,000 that I can't remember.

Me: Resident 7 year old do you want to go on a date with me?
R7YO: no.
I now know what true rejection is.

Spent hours baking and decorating Christmas cookies to take to work... Only took two seconds to dump the whole tray on the front steps. Sigh...

I gave up and joined the throng. I started playing candy crush- and I suck at it. Please send me lives.

When I close my eyes I see Candy Crush.

Merry Christmas from the Elf

Hey- Merry Christmas everyone! Here are the fun antics of our little Elf that I promised you. It was nothing exciting- but the kid loved it- so she served her purpose! 

This was Day 1- We came home from Thanksgiving and found a wrapped gift on the porch- To: the Kid From: the North Pole

We all read the story together. The kid got to hug her and play with her. Then we put her up on the shelf and gave her a name and let the magic take over. Her name is Snowflake Elfin (she signed all her stuff S.E.)

Day 2 she had written on the mirror "Thank you for my name, I love it!"

Day 3 she delivered to the kid the Elf on the Shelf movie- of course she can't do it in a normal way- she had to show off her upside down skills. 

Even before the kid saw the movie, she wanted to thank her Elf and make her cookies (seriously- totally her idea). They are teeny tiny cookies about the size of a quarter with a tiny shot glass of milk. So freaking cute!

Day 4 So S.E. thanked the kid with a fun little message- plus, it had snowed that day and she wanted to play in "snow" too!

Day 5 She got pretty messy playing in the snow, so she had to take a bath. She even looped the kitchen hose around the cupboard so she could shower. Did you notice her little laundry hanging up on the line?

Day 6 She was silly and TPed the little Christmas tree in the Kid's room.

Day 7 S.E. left a sweet little message in the computer room.

Day 8 True to her name, she decorated the entry way with some snowflakes. The little note she left said she'd had her first scissors lesson-

She just wanted to show off her mad skills.

Day 9 We found her flying around the dining room with a little super hero costume on. I have video of her flying around- but for some reason I can't post it.

Day 10 I don't know what it is about elves and fishing in the potty- but S.E. tried her hand at it too. She even caught a goldfish!

Day 11 She found a few stray ornaments and tried to help us out with some tree decorating. Really, I think she just wanted to go for a ride on the peacock in the tree.

Day 12 She built a little snowman- but he kept melting, so she left a note for the Kid to please help her build the snowman again.

Day 13 S.E. decided to challenge Timothy Mouse to a game of Scrabble. Looks like a pretty even match to me!

Day 14 Our Elf showed off her new sewing skills! She made these jammies for the Kid.

Day 15 She built a little house out of the big legos and camped out on the hearth.  There was a little oopsy that night- the Kid was rolling around and rough housing. She accidentally kicked the elf. She was SO upset that she was going to lose her magic. She wrote a letter to S.E. and explained it was an accident- which it absolutely was.

Day 16 was a relief. We were afraid she wouldn't be able to go back to the North Pole, but she was able to- with the help of the neighbor's Elf, Aurora Trixie. The doctor elf fixed her up. Santa wasn't upset- and neither was S.E. because they knew it was a mistake. She just needed a day to rest and she'd be better.

Day 17 we found her surrounded by a crowd of critters reading them the Fancy Nancy Christmast story. Of course, it was all the pink dolls (which everyone knows are the prissiest of all)

Day 18 She was lounging with treats and hogging the remote control. She spent the entire day watching Disney Jr. Lazy elf.

Day 19 Apparently we have a clean elf, she wanted to take a shower.

Day 20 We found her in the family room playing with trains. I wonder if these are they kind they make at Santa's Workshop?

Day 21 She must have missed the cold, because we found her hanging out in the fridge.

Day 22 Just hanging out for a leisurely swing.

Day 23 She found a friend to hang out with- and a gingerbread decoration play house. Just getting ready for her rooftop ride.

Day 24 The last day. She left a note reminding the Kid of the real reason we celebrate Christmas and to try to be good the whole year round. She also left a sweet snow globe as a little something for the Kid to remember her by.

We had a lot of fun with our Elf this year. I'm sure she'll be back next year! Thank you Pinterest for all the great ideas! Maybe someday I'll be creative enough to think of something on my own. (there were a few that I thought of- but then I got on Pinterest and saw they they'd already been done... so I'm still not original)

Letting the Cat Out of the Bag

Ok... so I haven't been posting as much lately. There are several reasons- not the least of which I'm just lazy- but that's not the biggest of all the reasons either. I have actually been wanting to post for a while- but I don't like posting when I'm sad- and I have not been having a very happy month.

Remember this post?  It's a lot of the same stuff... my year has been a recurring nightmare.

Family things aside- (because this blog is not a place for me to air the family laundry unless it suits my selfish personal needs- and this does not.) I have been on a complete roller coaster of emotions.

Once again I was up for an awesome job. I was personally recommended by the person I would work closest with and I took that as a HUGE compliment. It was perfect for me! I'd get to travel a lot, teach people and finally feel like I'm putting my brain and talents to good use and making money off of them. I interviewed over the phone the first time. It was at 8:00 in the morning and I was in my jammies with my fraggle hair and sitting on my bed. My friend who recommended me was in on the interview and told me I did a really good job ( I HAAAAATE interviewing!!!)

She encouraged me and said I was a really strong candidate. A week or so later I got an email at work to set up an appointment for a Skype interview. That was a little scarier, but I thought I could do it. So the appointed time came and there was a technological malfunction. They could see me- but I couldn't see them- they conducted the group interview anyway. There were about 10 people interviewing me. They tried to introduce them to me and tell me what their positions on the team were- but I have no idea... because I couldn't see them. When they finally did get it to work, I was looking at a table full of people and the back of someones head. I still couldn't see faces or recognize people. If I ran into any of them tomorrow- I would not recognize one of them.

Anyway- I did not feel it went very well, but once again, my friend talked me through it and said I didn't do as badly as I thought.

THEN a few days after that, I got a phone call from the landlady of an apartment I was looking at this past summer (the same one from that post) and she said that she had an opening and it's mine if I want it. So I started to get really excited about things- making plans- fantasizing about the new job and the new home....

For those of you who don't know any of this stuff was going on- don't feel badly. I didn't tell anyone... well- I told as few people as possible. Why? Because it's me- and inevitably everything turns to crap and I get tired of explaining it over and over and OVER and OVER because well meaning people want to know the progress of things. The Universe is just determined that things remain hell for me.

One very bad day while in the middle of dealing with family stuff, I got a phone call from Nashville- I am not moving forward in the interviewing process. He went on with some nonsense about not selling my teaching experience- which is total crap because that's all I talked about. I even talked about things that we not even closely relevant to the job- but still counted as teaching experience. (I have other suspicions of why I was not chosen, but they are not very friendly ones, so I'll keep those semi-private) I got the phone call while on my lunch and sat in my car and cried for the rest of the time. I was so sure- so SURE I'd get the job. It was all just so perfect. It would have fit my personality and lifestyle perfectly.

Then I got a text from the landlady- the girl didn't move out... I don't know if that was just a delay- or if she changed her mind and decided to stay... but either way, that has once again come to a grinding halt and I haven't heard from her since.

And to top it all off- someone stole my lunch out of the fridge at work.

So yeah- you see? that's why I haven't been posting much lately. I have just been all over the place. I've not wanted to talk about it- but I feel like I need to record something.

Three times this year this cycle has happened, the family stuff, the apartment and the job- they all seem to go together and they never turn out in my favor. I'm beginning to feel a little Groundhog Day-ish and wondering what it is I need to change so that things finally turn out right.

So many loves in one photo

There are no words I can use to describe how happy this picture makes me!

Richard hugging Kermit? Are you freaking kidding me? This just makes me love him even more. Why, WHY can't I be friends with him!?

I am so excited for this Friday, you don't even understand. If you need me, you will find me at the IMAX watching The Desolation of Smaug in 3D. Probably twice.

And just for a little extra treat:

In Defense of the Elf

There is a blog post going around Facebook. I heard about it before I read it- then I read it myself and thought it needed a reply.

To all you naysayers against the Elf on the Shelf tradition, to you I say Humbug! 

I will start however by saying that there are a few things I agree with in her article- Christmas can be a super hectic time of year, mother's do have a lot on their plates, and that "If you need an elf to address your child’s behavior, you are not doing your job."

 But that's about as far as we agree. Christmas is fun. Christmas is happy. She says in her own post that she can already hear the arguments,  “It’s just fun. It’s not a big deal.” Well sister, you hear those replies because they are true. It IS just fun- and it is NOT a big deal. 

My sister does it for her two children, my brother and his wife for their three teenage daughters, and my two single adult sisters have an elf at their house too that they take turns with. No one is using it as discipline. No one is threatening no Christmas presents if a kid has a meltdown or doesn't clean the bathroom- because that's just not real. No parent EVER any time of year- should threaten with empty threats- and maybe my experience is limited, but I've never once heard of parents chucking their kid's Christmas gifts because their kid was rotten. 

At this house, it is our first year with our elf (lovingly named Snowflake Elfin) and so far it has been an absolute blast. I'm not sure who giggles more- the seven year old or her great grandmother who just can't get enough of the brightness in the child's eyes and the smile as she says, "G.G, come see!!!"  It's something we all do together. We opened the book and read it together, watched the movie together, and every morning when she finds the elf, we get together and talk and laugh and just enjoy it.

I won't say it hasn't had an effect on her behavior- but not because we've forced it- just because she's so excited. The other day she woke up grumpy, tired and whiny- but as soon as the elf was mentioned she jumped out of bed and ran to look for her then cheerfully got ready and went to school. She's had a smile on her face all week- just so excited. It has even inspired acts of kindness and service in her because she decided (her own idea- not planted) to bake cookies for her elf. It's a weird way to learn it, but she's learning service and gratitude toward others.

This kid is not unloved. She isn't neglected- and time is not taken away from her by my working on the elf. She's already in bed when it's done (which by the way- the least of all my arguments about what she says in the article is that the "creepy elf" watches her sleep. No. No she doesn't. That's when she's gone back to the North Pole. And if you want to get into intrusive childhood tales that should creep people out... two words: Tooth Fairy- and yet I bet she told her children about her/him [depending on how progressive your family is] and left money under their pillows).

Also, our elf (and maybe she's unique in this) isn't naughty. She's silly and fun-loving, but she isn't doing anything damaging or dirty (I've seen some pretty perverted things people have done... and I think it's just sickening). She's not tearing paint off of walls, or creating a need for the house to be re carpeted. She's not bullying anyone or making messes and leaving them (she'll make a mess alright- but she cleans it up and that I think is a GREAT lesson and example to the kid- that if you make the mess, you clean it up).

In my family we go WAY overboard at Christmas- the dinner, the program, the songs, the chimes, the jammies, the games, the candy, the carols, the pickles, the... and that's just Christmas Eve!!! But no one is writing and crapping all over those things. Why? because they are acceptable forms of family togetherness. Well, our Elf is part of that togetherness. We've been closer this week than we have in a long time.

I think what it all boils down to is- you don't want to do the tradition? fine- don't do it. But don't get all self righteous Judgy McJudgerson on those who choose to implement it into their Christmas. Christmas is absolutely a time to celebrate Christ- I don't deny that one iota- but honestly, we should be celebrating Christ all year round. It shouldn't take an overly commercialized, pagan dated holiday for you to remember and be grateful for the birth, life and resurrection of the savior. If you're going to get down to brass tacks- you know that's the case. Jesus wasn't born in December- but who cares? Haven't you ever celebrated a birthday on a day other than the birthday? Didn't that person feel just as loved? I'm sure the Savior appreciates us turning our thoughts to Him- but it shouldn't matter when that happens.

If you're going to be like that about it, then I suggest you put away your Eastery Bunnies and Eggs come springtime- because those are all along the same line. You are celebrating a purpose, yes, but you are also enjoying it. "Men are that they might have joy," remember? and if having silly, harmless little traditions is what brings someone joy, who are you to say they shouldn't?

After Christmas, I will post all the silly things our elf has done! And for those of you who have been posting yours progressively on Facebook- I love them!!!

Gingerbread 2013

Another gingerbread extravaganza has come and gone! That must mean Christmas is near!!!

Here's Shayla with her Christmas baseball game! snowmen in the bleachers and Santas versus Nutcrackers

Then there's Macy with her Santa Claus Resort. What says Christmas more than sun, sand and surfing?

Jessica with her mansion and Miss P with her mini mom-why-do-we-have-to-do-everything-your-way-I-want-my-own-house house.

Mr D and my sister Valeri did an angry bird house. He even drew a dragon in the yard (I haven't played enough angry birds to know where the dragon fits in- I have all the games- I don't play them, I just have them so I'll be the cool aunt they want to hang out with because she has awesome stuff on her iPad).

Sadie mad Club Santa, disco floor and speakers with a Santa DJ included!

No one else wanted to pose with their houses...

Mom's house.

My house.

The the one that I'm the most proud of:

And for the curious-  yes the houses are real honest-to-goodness-made-in-grandma's-kitchen-from-scratch gingerbread houses. It smells divine! (the TARDIS was a bit of a last minute thought though so it is graham crackers. See? See how easy that was? now YOU go make one!!!)