Look Ma, No Man!

I am really good at playing the helpless female when it comes to certain things- cars being one of them. I am really good about taking Dory in for her oil changes (now that I get them free as long as I have her... and as long as I go to Poky to get them).

But today I took one further step toward independence! A few weeks ago I was pulled over for having a tail light out. And I've been putting off getting it fixed for weeks. The original plan for Disneyland was to trade cars with my mom and the week I was gone I was going to make my Dad get everything fixed. Well, that's not the plan anymore so I had to get it done on my own. [grumble grumble grouch]

So I went to car parts store #1 and asked for the part and for help changing the light. I looked as cute as I possibly could- which apparently didn't do the trick because he wouldn't help me. It's fine. He was an icky old man anyway. So I went to car parts store #2 and tried again. That kid sold me the light and then went outside to look at Dory to see if he could help me. There are only some cars they are allowed to help with and- die of shock- mine is not one that they are allowed to touch.

Stupid car manufacturer makes it so that the owner has to take it to the dealer to be fixed. Yeah right. The last time I took my car to the dealer for a tail light, they charged me thirty bucks to screw in a two dollar light bulb. So I bought the bulb and came home and googled how to do it and did it myself!

Behold!

I only broke two parts (the weird little peg-screw thingies that hold the lights onto the car- but they'll still do their job well enough) and I only swore three and a half times. Only I don't consider dammit a swear word so I guess it was only one and a half.

But I did it! All. By. Myself!

Baby Animals at Play

I'd rather watch these three videos all day than a month's worth of baby animal clips. Baby animals are cute and all but... I don't care who you are- I have the cutest nephews in the whole freaking world! Seriously. You have to watch all the videos and just listen to their infectious laughter and see how well they play together. It's just so stinking adorable! I miss them more than you know, and it's when I'm around these two that I wish the most that I could be a mom... but then, for now- I'm quite content being a doting aunty.

Balance

I have been wanting to write a post all week. But when I have time I don't have anything to say. And when I can think of something clever to write about, I don't have time to write.

It hasn't been my favorite weekend and at the risk of sounding too complainy, I'm going to do a list instead. When I put my gripes in a list, I don't feel like I'm whining as much. But, a lot of good things have been going on this week too- so I will add a happy to every not as happy item.

• I hate cancer. I hate, loathe despise and abominate cancer.
• I love that medicine has come so far in recent years and they can fight cancer in new ways and hopefully one day will obliterate it from existence.

• I can't hear out of my left ear right now.
• I get to take medicine that gives me really wackadoo dreams so sleep has been very entertaining.

• I hate it when I have a brilliant idea and it doesn't go according to plan (ie, tonight's cupcake fail).
• My coworkers will get cupcakes tomorrow and they'll eat them no matter how ugly they are (uhh... the ugly cupcakes, that is. My coworkers are all sufficiently attractive)

• I don't get to see HIM for at least a month because our schedules won't coincide for a while and when they do, one or the other of us is on vacation. Which he doesn't know, or care that I know or care, but I do and therefore I am alone in my bummed outtedness.
• It's nice to have something to look forward to on certain days at work. It makes the day more exciting- will he come? won't he? when? Gah!! The internal drama is awesome! (I could seriously write a whole post about this- but I'm trying to hide the fact that I have the mentality of a 12 year old when it comes to this stuff.)

• I hate cleaning my room.
• I love it when my room is clean!

• I hate doing laundry.
• I am SOOO glad that someone invented the washer and dryer and that I don't have to beat my laundry on a rock or even on a scrub board. I'm also grateful to not have to go to a laundromat.

• I am so tired of all the crap that seems to be going on in the world today. Why can't people just be nice? Why can't they just be honest? Why do they have to lie, cheat, steal and kill to get power? Why can't we all just get along, working together side by side and everyone earning their keep?
• I feel very lucky that I live in a country where I can say things like that without fear. I am forever grateful to those who have gone before us and made it possible for us to make our own choices- no matter how stupid those choices may be.

My Own Private Multi-Media Review Club

First off  I just have to say that it really bugs me that I am so weak that I allow one person in three seconds to determine my day. Ugh. It can be to make the day better- or to make the day crappy- but it just annoys the heck out of me that I allow someone to have that kind of power over me. Must. Be. Stronger.

With that out of the way, I would like to talk about media. I mean I have opinions on today's media driven world and how we are selectively informed. But that's not what I mean. I want to do a movie/book review all in one. Buckle up:

Movies

Iron Man 3: Awesome. I went last week to the IMAX and saw it in 3D. I am not one who reads the comic books or follows the entire universe of Marvel Comics, so it didn't bother me like it did other people, that The Mandarin was not the same as the comics. I loved it. I loved the movie. I don't want to say too much because I know there are people who haven't seen it yet. But seriously- it was my favorite one so far.

Star Trek Into Darkness. Again, I went yesterday to the IMAX 3D to see it. It was good. Really good. But I think it was mostly because Benedict Cumberbatch and Simon Pegg are in it and well, I love my British boys. The storyline was good but again, die hard Trekkies might not like it. But you have to remember it isn't the same universe as the others. This is an alternate timeline and things aren't going to pan out the same way as before- otherwise it would all be remakes and that would just be silly.

Don Juan: The version with John Barrymore? Have you seen it? It's a silent film and I honestly never knew that silent films could be so emotionally distressing. I was so into that movie that I hardly noticed it was silent. Wow. Now that is acting.  I mean, I've seen dozens of silent films before, but none has ever stirred me like that one did.

Book and Movie

I recently finished reading The Help and immediately watched the movie. I wanted so badly to love them both, but it just didn't happen. I know the subject matter isn't a pleasant one, but I wanted it to end better.It just seemed like she was running out of paper and was in a hurry to finish the book. I wanted a happier resolution for the main characters. No... I wanted a better comeuppance for the villain. And you know the movie is never as good as the book. This one was much the same. Decent casting. Mostly ok screenplay adaptation. Fail on making me care enough about it to want to watch it again.

In the world there is only one book/movie combination that I love. And they are so incredibly different that I think that's why I can. I have a hard time choosing one over the other as to which is my favorite and that distinction belongs to Howl's Moving Castle. The movie based off the book is only a skiff of what the book really is and takes things in a whole different direction taking only small elements of the book. But it's still so awesome. And the book? ugh. I just love that book. I read it last year- the whole series- but I may have to read them again here soon.

Book

To be specific- Audio book. And this actually applies to several books, but I will point out a few.

I am a big fan of audio books as you most likely know. I rarely listen to the radio in my car (and therefore I don't know most hit songs and/or artists). I always have a book in my car that I am "reading." The biggest downside to audio books is having another person's interpretation of how the book should sound. The book I'm reading right now, Palace of Mirrors, is a cute enough book, fresh storyline and a few likable characters (I kind of want to punch the main character in the face). But I cringe every time I turn it on because the reader is soooo awful. Ugh. She's totally ruining the book for me. The book is clearly written for an English/Scottish/Irish accent and the girl reads it in a slow American accent. She tries to do different voices for the characters, as a good audio book reader should do, but one of the main princess characters she reads with a Southern Accent. It's so awful that if there is a second book, I will read if physically and not listen to it because she's just so bad.

Other books that have been ruined by the reader are:

• The Charlie Bone series. I didn't make it past the first book. The reader was horrible.
• Magic Kingdom for Sale Sold series. I had to stop in the middle of the third book because his voices for different characters just got so ridiculous that I couldn't handle it any more.
• Jacky Faber series (Sorry Amy, I know you love these, but her fake Cockney accent is so horrendous I can't take it- and yet I continue to listen to them)

Books that are so amazing on audio that I have a hard time reading them myself without hearing the reader's voice:

• Harry Potter. I am an audio Harry Potter missionary. Seriously. It's the best way to experience these books. If you have not heard Jim Dale read them, you HAVE to. Stop what you're doing right now and go get them from your library. I don't know about the Stephen Fry version (the British version) but seriously, there is no better reader in the world than Jim Dale.
• The Tenant of Wildfell Hall. Best one I've listened to in a long, long time.
• Ella Enchanted. I don't know what it is about her voice, but I love this reader.
• The Looking Glass Wars series. Very interesting stories. Good reader.

I know there are a ton more, but my head seems to be stuck in the clouds right now. Stupid head. And I can't think of all the books I want to talk about. If you can suggest some super awesome audio books though, please do! I'm running out of things to listen to in my car and the library selection is limited unless I want to order something in- and I don't plan my life far enough in advance to do stuff like that. Organization? psh, please.

Hairy situation

Let's talk about hair today, shall we? Sometimes I really miss my long hair. It's still weird for me to describe myself as one with short hair. For years and years I was known as The One With Long Hair. It was my security blanket. 

But about five years ago- I allowed it to be lopped off and I've not let it get past my shoulders since. I loooove it short. But every once in a while I miss being able to braid it.

But now, it's so much easier and so much less painful. I don't get nearly as many headaches as I used to (because you can see from that braid that it is THICK). I miss people playing with my hair though. I think that's the thing I miss the most. I miss people just running their fingers through it. I would purr like a kitten. But short hair is so... not appealing that way. Ah well...

The only major complaint about having short hair, is now I actually have to DO it in the morning. I can't just run a brush through it and go. I either have to tame the curls (because it is seriously not a nice picture if I don't do something)

 or straighten it- which looks good but is a huuuuuuuuuuuge pain in the butt (and neck and arms and back).

I guess the moral of the story is... there really is no moral. I just wanted an excuse to post some selfies.

Have a nice day! :)

Looooove aaaat Hooooome

Another Mother's Day come and gone. This was probably the best one I've had in years. I didn't have get to go to church and have my face rubbed in it all. I had to work. And I got to talk to my Mommy, which is all I really cared about today. If I can't be with her, then I'm glad I was at work and at least got to talk to her.
There was one special moment today though, one that I shared with my mom 250 miles away.

When I work I go to the small sacrament meeting they hold in the hospital chapel. It's not much, but it's nice to have a few minutes of the Sabbath day to call my own and spend it worshiping before I have to go back to the ER and wonder why some people are allowed to procreate. Anyway, the opening Hymn for the service was Love at Home.

There is beauty all around

When there’s love at home;

There is joy in ev’ry sound

When there’s love at home.

Peace and plenty here abide,

Smiling sweet on ev’ry side.

Time doth softly, sweetly glide

When there’s love at home.

Love at home, love at home;

Time doth softly, sweetly glide

When there’s love at home.

In the cottage there is joy

When there’s love at home;

Hate and envy ne’er annoy

When there’s love at home

Roses bloom beneath our feet;

All the earth’s a garden sweet,

Making life a bliss complete

When there’s love at home.

Love at home, love at home;

Making life a bliss complete

When there’s love at home.

Kindly heaven smiles above

When there’s love at home;

All the world is filled with love

When there’s love at home.

Sweeter sings the brooklet by;

Brighter beams the azure sky.

Oh, there’s One who smiles on high

When there’s love at home.

Love at home, love at home;

Oh, there’s One who smiles on high

When there’s love at home.

Some of you know how I feel about this hymn. For those of you who don't, allow me to include you. I hate this song (aaaaaand there was the lightening strike for mocking a sacred Hymn, which I know that a song of the righteous is a prayer unto Him). It's just soooo cheesy. And I think it's ridiculous that it's only ever sung on Mother's Day. It is not only the Mother's job to make sure there is love in the home.  That is a job for everyone- including Dads! But also, I grew up in a home with love, and there were no roses blooming beneath my feet. That actually sounds kind of painful.

Anyway, the special moment that I had was: as we were singing... well, others were singing and I was laughing all the way through the song (yes, I need reverence lessons), 250 or so miles away, my mom was singing the exact same song and nearly the exact same time- and also laughing through it because she feels the same way about it as I do. Well, she had to lead the singing in Relief Society, so she couldn't laugh out loud, but I know she was thinking all the same things I was- and that's just kind of a fun bond we had today.

Happy Mother's Day, Mommy!

One Pin to Rule them All

Of all the pins on Pinterest, if I had to choose one, juuuust one to describe my life, it would be this one.

And it was abundantly clear tonight at work when HE came in and I stood there acting like a mute fool and not adding to the conversation. I don't know what the heck is wrong with me that I can't act like a normal person! I used to be such a good flirt! But now? Now I'm a socially inept moron.

Plus it didn't help that he came in on a day when I looked like a freaking undead monster. Seriously- spending hours straightening wayward frizz head curls on a day when it is humid and rainy out? Not a good combination.

But maybe I'll get lucky and be struck by lightening tonight... no wait... because then the ambulance would get called- and the whole mess would start over.

I just can't win. Sigh...

Is there a problem, Officer?

Nothing spoils the end of a good weekend faster than being pulled over. Ugh.

I went to Idaho this past weekend, hung with the fam, played lots of games and ate a ton (they also have Smores ice cream- and now they have three less pints than they did before). Seriously, I bought a present for myself to have on my next weight goal- and yeah- I was super close before I went- and I think I just put myself back two weeks. But every deep fried, carb filled bite was worth it.

On the way home though, I got pulled over for having a crack in my windshield (lame) and a burned out tail light (Ok, that one was my bad- I didn't know). I couldn't find my proof of insurance. I have the last five year's and two of last year's but I couldn't find this year's. Plus I was shaking so bad I couldn't even tear open an envelope. It's seriously been years since I have been pulled over. I grew up, got responsible and lightened up my lead foot so I'm not used to be pulled over like I used to be. I didn't swear once though- not even in my head. So that's good, right?

Anyway, the officer very graciously let me off with warnings- which he didn't have to do seeings how I live in Utah, have Idaho plates and a Colorado licence. Yeeeeah- I could have been in BIG trouble for all of that. But he was nice enough to let me go. Maybe it was because I'm wearing my "lucky shirt" today- or maybe because my car hit 77,777 miles today. Probably not.

Of course now, I have this sickening feeling that won't go away. I mean, for the last two weeks or so I've had this anxiety that doesn't really ever seem to go away- but it seems a little amplified tonight. So I'm going to make a list of things I love to see if I can't turn my mood a little.

• I like Red Delicious apples. Other kinds are nice too, but Red Delicious are my favorite.
• Kittens. Any baby animal really, but kittens I like the best.
• Really good hugs. It's been a long time since I've had a really, really good hug. Boy hugs are the best and you can imagine how long it's been since I've had one of those.
• I enjoy a good cry. It's just cleansing. Perhaps I should try one- see if I can't get rid of this elephant sitting on my chest.
• A good night's sleep is always nice. I hope I get one tonight. Switching back and forth between my Utah bed and my Idaho bed sometimes gets tricky.
• I like the crunch my neck makes when I go to the chiropractor.
• Nothing beats the feeling of having all your laundry done. Of course, it only lasts for two seconds, but for those two seconds, life is grand.
• When I have a song stuck in my head- and get it stuck in someone else's head- it's like winning a prize! It's the best kind of revenge.
• I never thought I'd be the kind of person to say this- but I really like going to the gym. I haven't gone for a few days because I'm afraid of going to the gym in Idaho because I really, really REALLY don't want to run into anyone I know. I'm excited to go tomorrow. Maybe that will help with the anxiety too. I should take up boxing so I can hit things- in a controlled, constructive way.
• My co-workers have been clamouring for cupcakes. That makes me happy- that they like them well enough to ask for them.

I don't know... I am running out of positive thoughts and i still have an aching pit in my stomach. Perhaps I'll just try going to bed early.

I swear I'm not bi-polar

So looking back on my past few blog posts I've noticed I have very altitudinal highs and very  subaqueous lows. Huh... I never realized I'm such an emotional blogger. I guess I find it cathartic. Even in my journal I don't write the things that I write I my blog. I guess I hope that someday someone's posterity will read them and think I'm not such a bad person after all. I mean, I am always honest in my journals- but I don't elaborate the negative like I probably should- so they're fiction by omission... is that even a phrase?

Whatever.

So these last couple of days at work have been awesome! I finally got to do something I love to do- and personally I think I do it well! I got to train the new kid! Woo Hoo! It just makes me feel like they trust me to know what the heck I'm doing. Which 90% of the time I totally do, 9% I fake and the other 1% I stare into the abyss and slip slowly into madness.

Ok... those percentages might be off a little.

Anyway, I like teaching. I like imparting my wisdom to others. Hahaha... Wow- that makes me sound like an insufferable know-it-all (I'm not denying it- I'm just saying it sounds that way). I'm a great big barrel of mostly useless knowledge so anytime someone wants to tap the keg, I will spout forth my golden stream of sagacity.

Ok... now I just sound like beer.

Speaking of cookies (beer-pretzels-peanuts-M&Ms-cookies, see, it's an easy leap),

I have officially declared today to be Cookie Calories don't Count Day. Have you ever had the Ice cream Shure-bert Oreos? HAVE YOU???

They're awesome! I only wish I'd made my declaration earlier in the day so I could have celebrated longer. My weekend just started early folks! Mmm...BOY!