A Grimm Post

Today is the 200th anniversary of Grimm's Fairy Tales.

I love Grimm's Fairy Tales.
I adore Grimm's Fairy Tales!

Have you ever read the originals? They are not Disney-fied no way no how!

Cinderella is super gruesome- cutting off body parts- pecking out eyes- total gross out story.
Rapunzel is pretty bloody too.

But they're just so darn GOOD!

As far as Hollywood goes, my favorite story is called The Singing Bone. This clip is from a movie called The Wonderful World of the Brothers Grimm. It has a few of the stories they wrote. They're so cute (check out the Elves and the Shoemaker (plus it's kinda Christmasy so there's and extra reason to watch it). There is also the Twelve Dancing Princesses (with my childhood crush, Russ Tamblyn [Gideon from Seven Brides])

My favorite from this movie though, is called The Singing Bone.

Hans is a poor servant- doing everything he can to please his master. When his master hears of a kingdom being ravaged by a dragon- and the prize for slaying the dragon is half the kingdom, he decides to take his faithful servant and destroy the dragon. But he is a coward. A sniveling coward. So when the approached the dragon's lair and saw the bodies of knights and princes strewn across the cave, burned to ash and dust, the master hid behind a rock and sent faithful Hans in to dispose of the foul beast.  Hans, afraid yet loyal, slays the beast. On their way back to the castle, they stop for a break. While Hans is resting, the Master takes his sword and runs poor Hans through. He buried him under the tree and left him forgotten and alone. He made his way back to the King's throne to claim his prize. After some time has passed, a young shepherd boy, leading his flock through the forest, sits under a tree to rest. There he finds a bone. "This would make a splendid flute" he says. He pulls out his knife and carves holes into the bone. And when he blew into his new flute...

It's just a haunting story. I don't know if it's the sound of the flute- or the whole story, but I love it. Ever since I was a little little kid and first saw this movie- I loved it.

Movies aside, my favorite Grimm story of all- I'd never heard of until I was on my mission. We were working with a man named Bill. I have no idea how we got onto the subject one day, but he wanted to read us a story. Oh- that's what it was- we'd told him one of "our" stories- so he wanted to tell us one of "his".

Anyway, he read this story- my companions I don't think were very impressed- but I'd never heard this story. I thought it was absolutely the funniest story I'd ever read- and several times after that, I'd request him to read it to me. The way he told it was just. so. good. (sigh... I really miss him... no idea whatever happened to him. I lost track of him )

The story is called The Three Spinners.

Read it. Seriously. It's so awesome. You'll just die over the ending. It does not end how you would think a fairy tale would end. It's just my favorite.

Letter to a Doodiehead

Dear Jerk Face who found/STOLE my Nook,

It's one week before Christmas. I was hoping that I'd just left my Nook on a desk at work and that a co-worker had put it aside for me. I wasn't overly worried about it until I got 15 emails today telling me of over $40 of purchases on the device that I haven't been able to find in two days.

From the apps and books that you downloaded to my account, it's clear to me that you have children (unless you're like me and just an overgrown five year old- but unlike me are a dishonest crap face). I hope that as your children played their new Dr Seuss and Angry Birds games, and watched cartoons on MY Netflix account, that you had a good explanation for them as to why they had this fun new electronic device that magically just showed up one day. I hope they didn't notice my old photo ID tucked in the cover, because I wouldn't want there to be any awkward questions ("Mom/Dad who is this lady and why is her drivers licence in our new Nook?")

I hope YOU enjoyed the violent apps you downloaded for yourself- and I really hope you had a great time watching episodes of Sons of Anarchy- which I'm sure is a very wholesome and uplifting show (maybe you even had your kids watch it with you- what a fun family activity).

I also hope you have fun with your new Mexican Cookbook- but take care because the book you bought about cooking for the diabetic makes me worry for you a little bit, you need to watch your sugar intake. You be careful there, my friend.

And finally, I hope that you had all the fun you could have with it today- because it is now a blacklisted device. Nothing will ever work on it again, and if you take it into a Barnes and Noble and tell them your device suddenly stopped working, they'll be able to see that it was stolen. They probably won't do anything to you because they can't prove that you took it- but I hope the shame in your heart is enough to keep you from doing this again.

It's not the lost Nook that bothers me. Sure, they're kinda pricey and I've become so dependent on mine that I can't live without it- and that's just money I don't have to go out and replace it- but it's just a thing. The fact of the matter is- is that expensive or not, it is replaceable. None of my books or apps are lost. I've been refunded for your day of  e-shopping with someone else's money. What makes me the sickest of all is that you would do such a thing. What has happened to you in your life to make you feel so entitled? Why do you feel that dishonesty and thievery are the way to go? You had my address on the ID, it's not like you would have had to take extreme measures to find the owner.

I sincerely hope that if I ever meet you face to face, that I can forgive you. I can't right now. But I hope someday I can. I further hope that someday you feel guilt for your actions. And I hope more than anything that your children don't grow up to follow your example.

Sincerely,

Bakeshow

100 Years

Today is my Grandma Dallin's birthday. She would have been 100 years old.

My favorite memories of my Grandma are:

When we went to her house and slept in the basement- when I was really little I was stuck on the floor on a blanket in my mom's room. When I got a little bit bigger I got to move out into the family room with my sisters and I slept on a small cushion-y looking thing while they slept on cots. I was SO happy when I was finally grown up enough to sleep on the cots- then I knew I'd really hit the big time when I graduated all the way upstairs and got to sleep on the hide-a-bed in the living room. Seriously- it was a big deal.

We always had Thanksgiving at Grandma's. Once I remember going to my other grandparent's house and it was... bleh- Grandma Dallin's house was always the place to be for Thanksgiving. We also had our family Christmas party there. We would draw names at Thanksgiving and have a gift exchange closer to Christmas.

When we visited grandma- we always said our quick "hellos" then headed straight for the freezer. She always had the best fudgecicles on hand. It got to the point she'd have to lock the freezer to keep us out- luckily we knew where she hid the key.

She also always had Shasta soda on hand. The bottom shelf in her fridge was always filled with a variety of pop. There was something for everyone.

We didn't get sugar cereals at home- so we knew when we went to Grandma's house we'd get Lucky Charms. When it came time to go home, she'd make us each a little baggie of cereal to take home for the ride. The marshmallows never lasted very long- and the rest of it rarely got eaten.

My grandma played softball in her younger years. She played the position of catcher. Being a pitcher, I always thought catcher was a pretty boring position so once I asked her why she chose to play there. "Because that was the one place I didn't have to walk very far to get to." Hahahha!

Grandma LOVED sports. She L.O.V.E.D. the Jazz. she was no fair weather friend. She was a major fan. She watched every game and got really into it. She even had a ball signed by the players.

She loved to play cards. She was always playing a game of solitaire. She taught me several different forms of solitaire- only two of which I really remember. I played them last night in fact. She collected cards in every city she visited. Some people do bells, or thimbles. Some collect key chains or magnates, Grandma collected playing cards and had a TON of them- mostly unopened- when she died. I took several of them and put them in a place so secure- that even I can't find it.

Along with cards, grandma was always working on a puzzle. She had stacks and stacks of 1000 piece puzzles stacked up in her closet.

There are so many more memories. I could seriously write for hours and hours. One day I really should do that. If I'd been organized, I'd have asked my siblings and some others to tell my their favorite memories of Grandma- but this will have to do for today.

I really, really miss my Grandma. As much as I believe in the Plan of Happiness- and I know that this life is not the end of it all- that we will be together forever as a family- I still miss her. Death is not sad for the person dying- it's sad for those of us left behind. She died just over 11 years ago- and I still cry when I visit her grave. I miss her so much.

  

Happy Birthday, Grandma.

Guess WHO is 16?

There are two people into Doctor Who in my family. Me (obviously) and my niece, Shayla (who credits herself with being the one to introduce me to the Doctor- though I've known of him for years... I just haven't watched it).

For her sixteenth (I know right? She's SIXTEEN!) birthday- I really, REALLY wanted to throw her a Dr Who themed party. The main obstacle? I could not be home for her birthday (which just so happened to fall on Thanksgiving). So with the help of my sisters we got her party planned. They put together all my ideas for her party so I can't really take credit for this stuff- just being the brains behind it all. Everyone else in the family just kind of went along with it even though they had no idea what any of it was even about.

She walked into the house through the Tardis door

and was greeted by this sign- which is reminiscent of the Dr Who logo.

Each person was given a fez and bow tie on a stick (because real ones are expensive- even cheap-o party ones), in reference to the 11th Doctor.

On her special spot, she had her own fez and bow tie to wear.

Her cake was a Tardis. I made the walls for it out of gum paste and sent them to Idaho with my Aunt and cousins who were traveling there for Thanksgiving. My mom baked the cake and assembled the Tardis. We had a little miscommunication about the dimensions of it. Oh well. And the blue of the Tardis walls was

supposed to look like wood grain- but it ended up looking more like I'd colored it with a crayon. again- oh well.

She was pretty excited- so I'm told.

Although, I'm pretty sure this is her "posed" happy face.

Everyone posed for pictures with her "wearing" their hats and bow ties.

Then there was much blowing out of candles and wishing and all the other fun things that come with being sixteen (PLEASE notice that the shirt she is wearing says "datable" bahahah!)

I was totally fine not going home for Thanksgiving. I love my family and all- but Thanksgiving isn't one of those holidays I just have to be home for (having never gone home for it while I lived in Colorado- and learning to make my own turkey dinner with other stray friends). I had to work- and I was doing fine until Shayla called me to tell me how much she loved her party. Then she said, "When I got here and saw all the Dr Who stuff I thought you'd come home to surprise me."

And that, my friends, is when I sat at my desk at work and bawled.

I'm SO sad I couldn't be there for her party- but I'm glad I got to be a part of it in at least some little way. Happy Birthday, Angel Baby.

Wait... that nickname takes on a whole new meaning these days doesn't it, Shayla.

I cry the day that I put the tree up

The tree is up. If you want to know who won the fight? Well, I just don't know. My arm is all scratch up- like I tried to give a 50 clawed kitten a bubble bath.

Let me give you some background: two of my sisters are professional merchandisers. They both used to have the same job, doing the displays for Fred Meyer- until they consolidated stores and now Kim is does multiple stores and Melanie has moved on to other things. Anyway- Kim does these absolutely amazing trees. Seriously incredible. She does all the Christmas trees in my family because everyone wants a gorgeous tree and we all have come to grips with the fact that we just can't hold a candle to her.  

 










In fact, this year, she decorated a tree for the festival of trees- and it was snatched up the first day by a local business.

So with that in the back of my head- decorating a tree- as fun as it is- always causes a little anxiety for me because I just know my Aunt wants a "Kim Tree" and she's getting the poor man's version.

There was only one major meltdown when I plugged in the last string of lights and blew a fuse somewhere along the strings of lights, and had to start over. Well- not completely, I just tested every string to see which one was the offending string and then tried to fix the fuse. That never works. Seriously. But this time it did. There is a reason they put those little extra fuses in the baggie taped to the string of lights.

I only had to make two extra trips to the store. Once for more ornaments and lights, and then again for more filler berries. I watched tutorials online to learn how to make the bow at the top- that was my first attempt at a tree topper bow. It took two days (roughly) and about six Christmas movies (not six separate ones, some of them were replayed a few times), but it's done. {please excuse my somewhat pathetic attempts at tree photography}

 

 Now I have only to dread taking it down.