Year in Status

Happy New Year's Eve. T'is the end of another year. Was it great? Was it crap? Eh- depended on the day. Here are some of my highlights according to Facebook Statuses (mostly they're the ones that amused me the most to re-read).

January

• ‎12:00 came and went... and I forgot to toast the new year with my cream soda... because I was playing angry birds. I'm pretty sure that's an omen for how this year is going to play out.
• Friday the 13th? my lucky day.
• Holy cow! It's coming down in pre-formed snowballs!!!
• 12:05am. "go to bed and get a decent night's sleep? oooooooor play angry birds till my eyeballs fall out? You're right... angry birds.
• "I *have* to go purse shopping? Oh. The. HUMANITY!!!!"

February

• "I can't taste anything... I should take advantage of this time by eating things that are good for me, but are gross.   Naaahhhh....
• I dream full episodes of The Big Bang Theory.
• When you live with the parents all you want to do is get the heck out... when you finally do- you never want your visits to end.
• I must have taken two multi vitamins last night because I dreamed about being a super hero.
• Tied for first in the family Oscar Competition!!! Woohoo!!!!

March

• Tax returns filed. Can anyone say SHOPPING SPREE!!!???
• After all these years I finally broke down and re-watched "Where the Heart is". It's still stupid.
• I just saw an add to become a marriage therapist. I should totally do that. I have a perfect track record. I've never had ONE argument with my husband!
• Twice this week I've eaten asparagus and lived to tell about it. Blahhhhh.....
• "Sometimes I really really really really really really really hate electronics!!!" she said as she typed away on her laptop.
• There's nothing like seeing a Broadway show (even if it's not technically ON Broadway) and topping off the night by running into an old friend! Good to see you Lisa, however briefly! :)

April

• "Dear Spider in the Shower, Not cool, man. Not. Cool.
• Wow. I`m the only one in the whole theater! No Titanic fans out there eh?
• I finally broke down and watched Inception. Now I have no grasp on reality. Oh wait. That's not new.
• It's such a beautiful day. Shame I have to spend it inside with people who think their sniffles are an emergency.

May

• Spend it where you earn it" isn't as fun as it used to be.
• I only work 4 days for the rest of the month. Bummer. [evil grin]
• It's a three cookie day.
• Do you need a break from modern livin? Do you long to shed your weary load? If your nerves are raw and your brain is fried just grab a friend and take a ride together upon the open road!
• I've been looking forward to the solar eclipse for weeks- and then promptly forgot until it was nearly over. DOH!!!
• DISNEYLAND!!! I may or may not have cried with joy at some point today.
• I've decided in my next life I'm coming back as a Disney performer. That is my dream job. Sadly I learned that waaaaay too late in life.

June

• Daily goals complete (mostly)! Let the first White Trash Drive-In of the summer BEGIN!
• So there's this girl I know, she has a complete lack of self control. Good thing I don't know anything about that kind of stuff. (baked smores???)
• I dreamed last night that my boss threw up on me. Any guesses at an interpretation?
•  I laid awake half the night thinking, "is it time to get up yet?" Now that I'm up I can't help but think, "How long till bedtime?"
• I had the best laugh of the year today when a fireman mistook one of the hospital chaplains for a Jedi.
• I keep trying to think of a funny, clever post... but with all the lost homes and displaced people in my three favorite states... it's a little hard to think funny thoughts.

July

• Today is one of those days it would be nice to have friends...
• I kissed a frog and I liked it.
• New Me Rule: No Pinterest before work.
• Seven years ago today I flew into the city of my dreams and made memories and friends to last a lifetime! Oh heavens I'm homesick.
• I had a very painful day. Please lodge sympathy and concern in the box provided below.
• I'm a little weirded out by the frog in the kitchen... is it dead? is it undead...?
• I spend a lot of time thinking how crappy my life is. So I get on FB and read all y'alls status updates and it makes me realize my life's not so bad. :-P
• Would you like some cheese with that whine???"

August

• I don't have to drink to forget. It comes naturally.
• I try to be open minded and accepting... but synchronized swimming is the *dumbest* thing I've ever seen. Bring back softball!!!!!
• I hear Chubbuck got blown over the rainbow. Say Hi to the Wizard for me (and bring me back a pair of shoes).
• I think I say it best when I say nothing at all. :)
• Dreamed of London again. So sad to wake up and not be there. sigh...
• I park my car under an oak tree. I would further like to point out that acorn season is upon us. :(
• Sitting in the dark and pouting at work. I never said I was mature.
• Even the World's Best Peanut Butter Sandwich tastes gross when all you're craving is MEAT.
• This weekend marks one year living in Salt Lake. How to celebrate? Leave town.
• I miss going to school sometimes. Not today though. I dreamed I was back in high school. What a nightmare!
• I tried yoga for the first time. Umm... Ow.
• I can't think of anything right now that makes me smile quicker than seeing the little family of Quail that live in my neighborhood. :)

September

• Today's goal: accomplish nothing. Check!
• No fair for me this year. NO FAIR!!! {pouty face}
• Sometimes I do really stupid things... like pick up overtime on my weekend off.
• Every time I think I'm finally on the right track in life- someone throws the switch. Sigh...
• A movie about writers that's set in Scotland AND stars David Tennant? Yes please. :)
• I have an apple seed stuck in my throat. Not sure how I feel about that.
• I have this overwhelming desire to use phrases like, "FANTASTIC!" "Allons y" and "Molto bene!" Can't imagine what's gotten into me...
• I want to get away. I want to fly away

October

• I have seen my future and there are no cupcakes.
• I wish I could transport myself into a book. I'd much rather live in a book.
• Uh oh... I just learned how to create my own posters for pinterest!There went the weekend.
• I love speaking in church. But I've never wanted to speak on a topic less than the one I have to do tomorrow. Doing everything I can to avoid writing a talk...
• I've already wasted half my day.. might as well waste the rest of it.
• I caught up on three shows and played about 19 hours of angry birds. How did you spend YOUR afternoon off?
• I'm bored and hungry... not a good combination.
• I went to the grocery store for one thing. An hour and $50 later I walked out of the store... without the one thing I went in for. Gah!!!
• I admit it. Sometimes I wear all black. And sometimes I get dressed in the dark. And *sometimes* my pants are on inside out. So what???

  November

• "There's a time to stand up and fight for what you believe in. And there's a time to join hands and work together- or all the fighting doesn't mean a thing." Who says you can't learn wisdom from Disney movies?
• What do you do when you're sick? Easy, call into work and spend the day with The Doctor.
• Miss Baker desires to know what you are all thinking. You may post one clever thing, two moderately clever things, or three very dull things indeed.
• Dear man who fell off his roof today, There were 8 inches of snow. I have no sympathy for you- now fork over your copay.
• I have learned the sure-fire way of never being invited to another Girls Night Out!
• I'm giving SA firesides one last chance. If it's stupid I'm never going again.
• We're keeping a tally at work to see which Thanksgiving hazard brings most people in. So far cut fingers are winning.
• It's sad when you bring ice water home from work- and have to go back to work before the ice is even melted.
• Dreamed of work all night. I should get overtime for that. :-(
• I had two goals this weekend. One is already done and someone else is doing the other. If I'm lucky, this may be a very lazy weekend. :)

December

• I dreamed I had a job interview in New York. I ran into a street gang and single handedly won a rumble using only words. No more West Side Story right before bed.
• I have seen every Christmas light in this city tonight. Time for a bottle of headache meds and a long winter's nap.
• I've lost my faith in humanity- which causes me to hate the whole wide world. Oh, by the way- Merry Christmas.
• Since this world is such a bummer- I think I'll escape to Middle Earth today.
• You know it's going to be a long day when you get your hair gel and toothpaste mixed up in the morning.
• I just spent an hour watching a He-Man and She-Ra Christmas special with a six year old. If that doesn't earn me brownie points with Santa- I don't know what will. 
•  I haven't looked outside yet today. Is the world still there? or is the light coming through the windows the flame of Armageddon?
• We were all so worried about the Apocalypse that no one focused on the fact that we've passed the shortest day of the year! Bring on Summer!!!! :D
• I'm not normally much of a morning person- but when you''re awakened by a six year old screaming that Santa came it's pretty hard not to be happy.
• I broke my Mommy. :(

Let's hope that next year's updates are more exciting!

Happy New Year!

The Inadvertant Grinch

I'm having a hard time getting into the spirit of things. A month ago I was all gung-ho for Christmas- but the last few weeks- I've practically forgotten that Christmas is even coming- and now it's practically here!

I don't know why. I've watched as many Christmas movies as I've had time for. I've made treats and sweets until I even smell like sugar. I've shopped (which is fun when I'm by myself. I don't shop well with others). I've put a lot of thought into my gifts. I LOVE buying gifts. Usually for my niecephews I cop out and take them to a movie or something. Not this year! This year I put a lot of thought into what I thought they could really use- or would really like. I hope I'm not wrong.

Maybe it's because I was robbed. Nah... I wasn't feeling it before that happened (although that did not help). Perhaps it's because I don't listen to Christmas music in my car. I listen to books. Hmmm... I can't listen to music at work either (although today I broke down and shattered the rule- because I was in some serious need for Christmas tunes).

I've decorated trees
and gingerbread houses
and cupcakes
and doors
and fireplace mantles.

I've hung lights
and stockings
and pictures drawn by a six year old
and countdown chains.

I've wrapped presents until my back hurt- stretched- then wrapped some more. I've read Christmas books. I've worn Christmas socks. I've sung carols. I've looked at lights (hoo BOY did I look at lights). I went to the MoTab Christmas Concert and bawled my eyes out. I've remembered the Savior in all things (or at least tried).

But still I find myself lacking in excitement. I don't mean to bum anyone out. This isn't meant to do that. I just... want to glow with Christmas spirit. I want to feeeeeeeel Christmas- not just see it circled on a calendar.

Tomorrow is Christmas Adam. I have to work all day- but as soon as I get off work I'm headed home. Like, home, home. When I get there, my parent's house should be crawling with neicephews dressed as Whos and clamouring to watch movies and play games. This year we're having a Who-bi-lation. Maybe that will put me in the mood.

I hope so. I love Christmas and I don't love when I feel so blue. I like a red and green Christmas- not a blue Christmas. I wouldn't even mind a white Christmas- so long as it waits until I'm home.

A Grimm Post

Today is the 200th anniversary of Grimm's Fairy Tales.

I love Grimm's Fairy Tales.
I adore Grimm's Fairy Tales!

Have you ever read the originals? They are not Disney-fied no way no how!

Cinderella is super gruesome- cutting off body parts- pecking out eyes- total gross out story.
Rapunzel is pretty bloody too.

But they're just so darn GOOD!

As far as Hollywood goes, my favorite story is called The Singing Bone. This clip is from a movie called The Wonderful World of the Brothers Grimm. It has a few of the stories they wrote. They're so cute (check out the Elves and the Shoemaker (plus it's kinda Christmasy so there's and extra reason to watch it). There is also the Twelve Dancing Princesses (with my childhood crush, Russ Tamblyn [Gideon from Seven Brides])

My favorite from this movie though, is called The Singing Bone.

Hans is a poor servant- doing everything he can to please his master. When his master hears of a kingdom being ravaged by a dragon- and the prize for slaying the dragon is half the kingdom, he decides to take his faithful servant and destroy the dragon. But he is a coward. A sniveling coward. So when the approached the dragon's lair and saw the bodies of knights and princes strewn across the cave, burned to ash and dust, the master hid behind a rock and sent faithful Hans in to dispose of the foul beast.  Hans, afraid yet loyal, slays the beast. On their way back to the castle, they stop for a break. While Hans is resting, the Master takes his sword and runs poor Hans through. He buried him under the tree and left him forgotten and alone. He made his way back to the King's throne to claim his prize. After some time has passed, a young shepherd boy, leading his flock through the forest, sits under a tree to rest. There he finds a bone. "This would make a splendid flute" he says. He pulls out his knife and carves holes into the bone. And when he blew into his new flute...

It's just a haunting story. I don't know if it's the sound of the flute- or the whole story, but I love it. Ever since I was a little little kid and first saw this movie- I loved it.

Movies aside, my favorite Grimm story of all- I'd never heard of until I was on my mission. We were working with a man named Bill. I have no idea how we got onto the subject one day, but he wanted to read us a story. Oh- that's what it was- we'd told him one of "our" stories- so he wanted to tell us one of "his".

Anyway, he read this story- my companions I don't think were very impressed- but I'd never heard this story. I thought it was absolutely the funniest story I'd ever read- and several times after that, I'd request him to read it to me. The way he told it was just. so. good. (sigh... I really miss him... no idea whatever happened to him. I lost track of him )

The story is called The Three Spinners.

Read it. Seriously. It's so awesome. You'll just die over the ending. It does not end how you would think a fairy tale would end. It's just my favorite.

Letter to a Doodiehead

Dear Jerk Face who found/STOLE my Nook,

It's one week before Christmas. I was hoping that I'd just left my Nook on a desk at work and that a co-worker had put it aside for me. I wasn't overly worried about it until I got 15 emails today telling me of over $40 of purchases on the device that I haven't been able to find in two days.

From the apps and books that you downloaded to my account, it's clear to me that you have children (unless you're like me and just an overgrown five year old- but unlike me are a dishonest crap face). I hope that as your children played their new Dr Seuss and Angry Birds games, and watched cartoons on MY Netflix account, that you had a good explanation for them as to why they had this fun new electronic device that magically just showed up one day. I hope they didn't notice my old photo ID tucked in the cover, because I wouldn't want there to be any awkward questions ("Mom/Dad who is this lady and why is her drivers licence in our new Nook?")

I hope YOU enjoyed the violent apps you downloaded for yourself- and I really hope you had a great time watching episodes of Sons of Anarchy- which I'm sure is a very wholesome and uplifting show (maybe you even had your kids watch it with you- what a fun family activity).

I also hope you have fun with your new Mexican Cookbook- but take care because the book you bought about cooking for the diabetic makes me worry for you a little bit, you need to watch your sugar intake. You be careful there, my friend.

And finally, I hope that you had all the fun you could have with it today- because it is now a blacklisted device. Nothing will ever work on it again, and if you take it into a Barnes and Noble and tell them your device suddenly stopped working, they'll be able to see that it was stolen. They probably won't do anything to you because they can't prove that you took it- but I hope the shame in your heart is enough to keep you from doing this again.

It's not the lost Nook that bothers me. Sure, they're kinda pricey and I've become so dependent on mine that I can't live without it- and that's just money I don't have to go out and replace it- but it's just a thing. The fact of the matter is- is that expensive or not, it is replaceable. None of my books or apps are lost. I've been refunded for your day of  e-shopping with someone else's money. What makes me the sickest of all is that you would do such a thing. What has happened to you in your life to make you feel so entitled? Why do you feel that dishonesty and thievery are the way to go? You had my address on the ID, it's not like you would have had to take extreme measures to find the owner.

I sincerely hope that if I ever meet you face to face, that I can forgive you. I can't right now. But I hope someday I can. I further hope that someday you feel guilt for your actions. And I hope more than anything that your children don't grow up to follow your example.

Sincerely,

Bakeshow

100 Years

Today is my Grandma Dallin's birthday. She would have been 100 years old.

My favorite memories of my Grandma are:

When we went to her house and slept in the basement- when I was really little I was stuck on the floor on a blanket in my mom's room. When I got a little bit bigger I got to move out into the family room with my sisters and I slept on a small cushion-y looking thing while they slept on cots. I was SO happy when I was finally grown up enough to sleep on the cots- then I knew I'd really hit the big time when I graduated all the way upstairs and got to sleep on the hide-a-bed in the living room. Seriously- it was a big deal.

We always had Thanksgiving at Grandma's. Once I remember going to my other grandparent's house and it was... bleh- Grandma Dallin's house was always the place to be for Thanksgiving. We also had our family Christmas party there. We would draw names at Thanksgiving and have a gift exchange closer to Christmas.

When we visited grandma- we always said our quick "hellos" then headed straight for the freezer. She always had the best fudgecicles on hand. It got to the point she'd have to lock the freezer to keep us out- luckily we knew where she hid the key.

She also always had Shasta soda on hand. The bottom shelf in her fridge was always filled with a variety of pop. There was something for everyone.

We didn't get sugar cereals at home- so we knew when we went to Grandma's house we'd get Lucky Charms. When it came time to go home, she'd make us each a little baggie of cereal to take home for the ride. The marshmallows never lasted very long- and the rest of it rarely got eaten.

My grandma played softball in her younger years. She played the position of catcher. Being a pitcher, I always thought catcher was a pretty boring position so once I asked her why she chose to play there. "Because that was the one place I didn't have to walk very far to get to." Hahahha!

Grandma LOVED sports. She L.O.V.E.D. the Jazz. she was no fair weather friend. She was a major fan. She watched every game and got really into it. She even had a ball signed by the players.

She loved to play cards. She was always playing a game of solitaire. She taught me several different forms of solitaire- only two of which I really remember. I played them last night in fact. She collected cards in every city she visited. Some people do bells, or thimbles. Some collect key chains or magnates, Grandma collected playing cards and had a TON of them- mostly unopened- when she died. I took several of them and put them in a place so secure- that even I can't find it.

Along with cards, grandma was always working on a puzzle. She had stacks and stacks of 1000 piece puzzles stacked up in her closet.

There are so many more memories. I could seriously write for hours and hours. One day I really should do that. If I'd been organized, I'd have asked my siblings and some others to tell my their favorite memories of Grandma- but this will have to do for today.

I really, really miss my Grandma. As much as I believe in the Plan of Happiness- and I know that this life is not the end of it all- that we will be together forever as a family- I still miss her. Death is not sad for the person dying- it's sad for those of us left behind. She died just over 11 years ago- and I still cry when I visit her grave. I miss her so much.

  

Happy Birthday, Grandma.

Guess WHO is 16?

There are two people into Doctor Who in my family. Me (obviously) and my niece, Shayla (who credits herself with being the one to introduce me to the Doctor- though I've known of him for years... I just haven't watched it).

For her sixteenth (I know right? She's SIXTEEN!) birthday- I really, REALLY wanted to throw her a Dr Who themed party. The main obstacle? I could not be home for her birthday (which just so happened to fall on Thanksgiving). So with the help of my sisters we got her party planned. They put together all my ideas for her party so I can't really take credit for this stuff- just being the brains behind it all. Everyone else in the family just kind of went along with it even though they had no idea what any of it was even about.

She walked into the house through the Tardis door

and was greeted by this sign- which is reminiscent of the Dr Who logo.

Each person was given a fez and bow tie on a stick (because real ones are expensive- even cheap-o party ones), in reference to the 11th Doctor.

On her special spot, she had her own fez and bow tie to wear.

Her cake was a Tardis. I made the walls for it out of gum paste and sent them to Idaho with my Aunt and cousins who were traveling there for Thanksgiving. My mom baked the cake and assembled the Tardis. We had a little miscommunication about the dimensions of it. Oh well. And the blue of the Tardis walls was

supposed to look like wood grain- but it ended up looking more like I'd colored it with a crayon. again- oh well.

She was pretty excited- so I'm told.

Although, I'm pretty sure this is her "posed" happy face.

Everyone posed for pictures with her "wearing" their hats and bow ties.

Then there was much blowing out of candles and wishing and all the other fun things that come with being sixteen (PLEASE notice that the shirt she is wearing says "datable" bahahah!)

I was totally fine not going home for Thanksgiving. I love my family and all- but Thanksgiving isn't one of those holidays I just have to be home for (having never gone home for it while I lived in Colorado- and learning to make my own turkey dinner with other stray friends). I had to work- and I was doing fine until Shayla called me to tell me how much she loved her party. Then she said, "When I got here and saw all the Dr Who stuff I thought you'd come home to surprise me."

And that, my friends, is when I sat at my desk at work and bawled.

I'm SO sad I couldn't be there for her party- but I'm glad I got to be a part of it in at least some little way. Happy Birthday, Angel Baby.

Wait... that nickname takes on a whole new meaning these days doesn't it, Shayla.

I cry the day that I put the tree up

The tree is up. If you want to know who won the fight? Well, I just don't know. My arm is all scratch up- like I tried to give a 50 clawed kitten a bubble bath.

Let me give you some background: two of my sisters are professional merchandisers. They both used to have the same job, doing the displays for Fred Meyer- until they consolidated stores and now Kim is does multiple stores and Melanie has moved on to other things. Anyway- Kim does these absolutely amazing trees. Seriously incredible. She does all the Christmas trees in my family because everyone wants a gorgeous tree and we all have come to grips with the fact that we just can't hold a candle to her.  

 










In fact, this year, she decorated a tree for the festival of trees- and it was snatched up the first day by a local business.

So with that in the back of my head- decorating a tree- as fun as it is- always causes a little anxiety for me because I just know my Aunt wants a "Kim Tree" and she's getting the poor man's version.

There was only one major meltdown when I plugged in the last string of lights and blew a fuse somewhere along the strings of lights, and had to start over. Well- not completely, I just tested every string to see which one was the offending string and then tried to fix the fuse. That never works. Seriously. But this time it did. There is a reason they put those little extra fuses in the baggie taped to the string of lights.

I only had to make two extra trips to the store. Once for more ornaments and lights, and then again for more filler berries. I watched tutorials online to learn how to make the bow at the top- that was my first attempt at a tree topper bow. It took two days (roughly) and about six Christmas movies (not six separate ones, some of them were replayed a few times), but it's done. {please excuse my somewhat pathetic attempts at tree photography}

 

 Now I have only to dread taking it down.