What's My Crime?

I do a bad thing. I've been taught since I was little not to do it. My parents told me not to do it. My teachers told me not to do it. My story books told me not to do it. Even TV shows tell me not to do it. But I do it anyway. It's bad. It's so bad. But I can't stop doing it. Maybe there's a program for people like me? Hmmm... I'll look online

[checking online]

hmm... nothing in my area. I guess I'll just have to confess it here to you. Now.

[looking around shiftily]

{whispering}

I judge books by their covers.

It's not a big deal though. I can stop whenever I want to.  I just don't want to. Some people have to learn the hard way, that is what I do. I look at books and think, "Hey, this looks like a good book" and then I find out that it's totally not (kinda like the snoozfest that I'm listening to now). And then there are some books that people recommend to me that I think, "Wow, that looks really boring" only to find it's an amazing work of art! Hmmm... but it's ok. Like I said, I can stop whenever I want to. No problem.

Don't Tell Bob and Jillian...

...that I ate a whole package of chocolate covered marshmallow eggs tonight while watching the Biggest Loser.


Also, another random side note. For the last month I have been having trouble saying the word "abdominal." It keeps coming out "abdominable."  It's really funny- but very frustrating.

I have been up to my armpits in cakes this weekend, 8 of them to be exact (though one was teeny tiny so I don't know if it fully counts.) I really like cake decorating. And the more I read CakeWrecks the better I feel about my skills. I'm not ready for my own TV show by any means, but at least I'm not *that* bad.

Wanna see them? Two were for Cami's Filipino birthday party (hence one is a birthday cake and one is a Filipino cake) The rest are mini cakes for my friend's work bake sale. She works at a local raisin ranch (her words, not mine [nervous giggle]) and the money earned goes towards buying Christmas gifts for the oldies. So I graciously volunteered to donate cakes for the bake sale (OK, OK, my motive wasn't entirely selfless. I'm hoping to get my name out there a little bit. I'd really like some payin' gigs, ya know?)

This was Cami LEMMON's birthday cake (Lemon cake with Lemon custard filling).

Cami served her mission in the Philippines so she got a teeny tiny Filipino flag.

[note: yes, I am aware the flag is upside down. I was making it from memory and I could not recall which was on top, red or blue. Turns out, when red is on top that means the country is at war. oopsy]

And now the Bake Sale cakes:

This one was an experiment with giraffe print. I have a giraffe birthday cake coming up so I was just playing with it. I think it turned out OK.

This is one of my favorites. My mom said it looks like an old jewelry box her mother had. My sister said all she could think of was "driedel driedel driedel..." Oh well. I still like it.

I was nervous about this one but I think it turned out really cute. I made several bows but this is the only one that turned out and stuck. Two other cakes were supposed to get bows too but they did not survive (the bows, that is- the cakes are fine).

This one was the last. I was out of ideas and I just threw it together in a few minutes. But it turned out super cute and is one of my favorites. Maybe that goes to show me that I think too much sometimes. Just learn to go with the flow, Bakeshow. Chill out.. relax, man... [OK, not that relaxed...]

I'm so glad spring is coming. That's what this one is all about. Poo on winter! Bring on the spring!

This was my favorite one. The roses were an afterthought (this was one that was to have a bow that didn't turn out) but I think they turned out really cute. If I didn't hate eating cake so much I would have kept this one for myself. 

[Let me explain that. I like cake, of course I like cake -have you *seeeeen* me? But growing up in a cake filled household I've kinda ODed on it and cake is only eaten on rare occasions- such as major cupcake cravings {curse you Cocoa Bean!} or birthdays.]



Circus Monkey

It's been three years, THREE YEARS people, since I've seen my dear dear friend, Ryan (affectionately known as my Circus Monkey*). Last time I saw him he was pawning me off to a taxi driver headed for the airport in Orlando. We talk on the phone all the time, but talking on the phone and talking in person just aren't the same. We've never been able to be in the same place at the same time. If he's in Idaho, I'm in Colorado. When he finally came to Colorado, it was two days after I moved to Idaho... Argh!

Anyway, today he was in Utah so I took the day off work and closed the rest of the gap and finally, FINALLY got to spend some quality face to face time with him. 

 Super awesome day!  I miss you already! 

*He's in La Nouba, a Cirqe du Soleil show in Florida

Going Green

Here's a typical St Pattie's Day in the life of Bakeshow:

For starters, a hearty breakfast of:

And then I watch:

When I go to work I will wear:

 (though truth be told, I've been wearing green all week anyway)

Throughout the day I will have these songs stuck in my head:

(the song starts at 2:49)



and



But most of all.... THIS:



I wish you Love and Luck! So click your heels and have a Happy St Patrick's Day!!

Bad Baby Names

The naming of Children has always fascinated me. I think it's something every little girl thinks about. You know, the "when I grow up to be a mommy, these will be my kid's names..." and then she comes up with names that she loves. And I think that's cute. I look at my nieces and watch them name their dolls. Every doll has a different name.

Anyway, the whole point of my blog/rant today is to talk about parents who give their children stupid names. Do parents really not stop and think about what a name means? or how a kid will be made fun of? Just because a word is pretty sounding- doesn't mean it will make a good name. Would you want to be the kid named Calorie or Chlorine? Sure, they sound like pretty girl names... buuuuut... (those are just examples, I've not come across anyone with those names).

Here are some of the names I have a problem with. If you've used these for your kids, then... well, I'm not going to apologize for making fun of them. because they are dumb.

• La-a (pronounced, La.Dash.Uh "The dash ain't silent")
• Tirany (pronounce Tyranny. yeah, no matter how you misspell it, you still just named your kid after a dictatorship regime)
• Arian (is she going to grow up and have her own nation one day?)
• Cage (for a boy... yeah... no.)
• Bedlam (another boy. Yeah, you're gonna have your hands full with that kid)
• Breed (boy name. [staring blankly] )
• D'Loaf [crickets in the background]
• Dwodger (ummm...)
• Shithead (yes, it's a real name- pronounced Shi-theed. You can tell her parents really hated her)

Those are just a few- There are countless more stupid names. Just for fun I googled "stupid kid names" and there are blogs and blogs and articles upon articles out there talking about these names. Another pet peeve is about names that are grossly misspelled. There are rules to word structure and pronunciation. Just because you put the letters KJENE:RKJ together, does not mean you get to pronounce it "Bob". Language does not work that way. Why take a perfectly good name and kill it with a stupid spelling? WHY?

• Alivyiah TreCole (pronounced Olivia. I stole this from Seriously, so Blessed. She made it up, mocking the parents who actually do this do their children)
• Qaadriyahh (pronounced Quad-ree-uh)
• Kaylub (Caleb)
• Kaileigh (Kylee)
• Larialmy (Laramie)
• Kaydunce (yeah, that's not gonna get made fun of.)

There are infinitely more bad names out there. Most of these are ones I myself have come across (though I did steal a few from the internet) The site I found that was the saddest, was the Utah Names site. Justa Cowgirl? Why would you do that to your child?

Don't even get me started on androgynous names. If you have a girl- give her a girls name, vice versa for a boy. Do you really want your kid growing up and having people say "Is that a brotha, or a sista?"




What are some bad names you've come accross?

Kards, Kakes, Kops, Kwotes and Krushes.

I feel lately that I've been all doom and gloom (and I think with good reason) but so many good things have happened today that I am bursting to share a cheerful post.

First off, it was my Mommy's birthday today. She didn't want me to make her a cake, so I didn't. Instead, I got her a new deck of Five Crown cards. We play that game C.O.N.S.T.A.N.T.L.Y. and the deck was getting so hard to shuffle and deal cuz the cards were so worn out.

Then, I got some mail today. It was forwarded from my old Colorado address. It was from my former employer. I had no idea what it could be so I opened it up and it was a check! I HUGE check! It was from my 401k. I know I should put that toward my current 401k, but I think I'm going to use it to pay off a credit card! Woo Hoo!

Work was sufficiently busy. Considering where I work, I always feel guilty when I'm glad it's busy. It's not good for the general public, but it sure makes the time go by faster for me. Plus, I think I'm getting comfortable enough there that now I can join in conversations with others. I'm not quite so shy (yes *shy*) as I was at first.

If there are moments that are slower, I always have two years or more worth of Cake Wrecks to read. I am by no stretch of the imagination a good cake decorator, but looking at those cakes made by "professionals" makes me feel a lot better about myself and my lack of talent.

picture shamelessly stolen from Cake Wrecks

Sometimes I have a vindictive nature (I know, I was shocked too when I figured it out). I am prone to having a lead foot, but since I got pulled over a couple of months ago I've really tried to keep my speeding within reason. And oftentimes (even before my reformation) I've found myself being passed by cars- obviously driven by maniacs- and wondering, "where are the Po-po when you need them?" Well, tonight a dream came true for me. I've always hoped that a car who blew past me would get picked up. And on my drive home tonight it totally happened. Just passing Fort Hall a car buzzed passed me like I was standing still (and yes people, I was going a teeeeeeny bit over the limit). It freaked me out a little when the cop turned his lights on just as I was approaching him. I thought, "I'm not speeding that much. It'd better not be me." Imagine my delight when he (I'm going to go out on limb and assuming it was a "he") pulled over the car that buzzed me. *evil laughter*

Also tonight, I was introduced to my new favorite quote. I nearly had to pull the car over and die laughing when I heard it. I've been "reading" the Anne of Green Gables books on my commute. I'm in book two and found my new motto for life.

"Some are born old maids, some achieve old maidenhood, and some have old maidenhood thrust upon them." ~ Miss Lavender

I'm not sure which part applies to the likes of me, but it is officially my new favorite quote. I think I'm going to put it as a subscript to my blog title.

And the final thing that makes me happy, whilst we're in an L.M. Montgomery mood. I signed up for Netflix and I've been watching the old made-for-Disney show, "Avonlea" Can I just tell you how in love I am with Gus Pike?

Seriously.

In the Headlines

I loath to blog about such a topic. But it seems that everyone else is, so I might as well too.  Am I the only person in this blessed country who doesn't give a rat's rear about Charlie Sheen? He is an absolute embarrassment to humanity and it's s shame to have to admit we belong to the same species.  But it seems that no matter how hard I try I can't get away from his name.

• I read the news, he's there. I visited my favorite blog today and even they did a blog about his idiocy.
• My niece and I were watching Hook this afternoon. When Rufio came on screen she asked me what else he's in. When I told her he was in The Mighty Ducks, I remembered "Ducks"  also stars Emilio Estevez, who is the brother of said lunatic. 
• Then, at work tonight, someone turned the TV in the waiting room to a Two and a Half Men marathon. [And for the record, I think that is the absolute lamest show on TV and the fact that it is so popular does not improve my opinion of general society. Every time a scene changes that stupid "Meeeeennnnnn" chorus? It's maddening.]
• Anyway, as soon as the waiting room was clear I changed the channel. I picked out a basketball game. That should be safe, right? Nope. At the end of the Jazz getting trounced by the Nuggets, the commentators started talking about our good friend, comparing him to Charles Barkley. Sigh... When even the sports networks aren't safe?

I just hope whatever phase this is that he is going through ends quickly. He must have a very low self esteem and no sense of self worth. I've often wished for fame and fortune, but it seems as though even all that can't make a person happy. Now he's just become an enabled slime ball with no morals or social skills.