I was blog stalking earlier this week and came across a blog post from a dear, dear friend of mine. Read it here, then come back and finish reading mine.

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Done? Ok.

I couldn't agree with her more. Every once in a while it's nice to have a reminder that I'm not alone in the world.

I am trying to think of something to add. I'm totally coming up blank. I'm sick and tired of whining but I'm afraid that's all I've got in me right now so I think it's best to just leave it alone.

What's in a Name?

She's home! Isn't she cute?

I had a name picked out for her- but it just didn't fit. I got lots of great suggestions from friends and family. But last night like a bolt out of the of blue (pun intended) the name came to me!

She is named after another one of my favorite characters:

Welcome to the Baker family, Dory!

Pain In The...

Sometimes I come up with really good blog post titles- but then when I start to write it, the post is really stupid. But I still like the title. I do that with books too. I come up with an awesome title and think, "Oooooohhhh..... I should write a book about that." and it shouldn't be that way. It should be the other way around.

Anyway, the point of this whole blog is to tell you that I. Am. In. Pain. Yesterday, I pinched a nerve in my back. I've never done that before. I have one word for you.

OW.

I've never felt pain to this extent. I cried half the night at work but refused to go home and refused to check myself in. Money. It's my number one concern right now. They say it doesn't bring you happiness- but it doesn't automatically depress me either.

I'm leaning towards keeping the car. I just need to talk to some insurance folks. That will be the deciding factor.  I'll keep you posted- if I find time between drug doses and my heating pad timer.

Nervous Breakdown

I bought a car today. Sort of.

I woke up this morning knowing that part of my day off would be dedicated to arranging Kermie's burial preparation- and possibly looking around to see what is available as far as a replacement. I took bags to put all the crap that Kermie collected. I sat and cried while I cleaned him out. I'm pretty sure my dad and the mechanic think I'm crazy- who cries over a car?

I don't know the location of a good Kermie photo- this is an identical twin

As soon as we were done and I said my goodbyes, I told my dad that I wanted to just look around and see what's available out there. We test drove a few cars but they were not love connections. Just as I was about to give up for the day- the 20 year old salesman remembered one more car. I drove it- I and really liked it. It was higher off the ground, good gas mileage, newer, and few miles for it's age. I decided that though I hadn't seen many other cars, that this was a good match. So for the next THREE hours I sat in the dealership while they ran my credit and other info.  They got me in the ballpark of payments that I requested (the very edge of the ballpark,  but ballpark nonetheless).

the new car. I have a name picked out- but we need to bond more before it's official

When they got to the part where I had to sign everything they sent me into another office with some other guy- who funnily enough- I went to high school with. I did not recognize him at all- but he knew me and even remembered a class we had together and that we used to argue over who got better grades. Hahaha!

Anyway, everything was signed sealed and delivered- but they would not let me bring the car home. My insurance coverage for Kermie is liability only and I can't take that car till they know I have full coverage. They couldn't tell me that at the beginning of the three hours when my insurance agent was still in the office? They had to wait till she was gone for the weekend? Argh!

Here's where the nervous breakdown kicks in. I'm home and crunching numbers. I don't know if I can make it work. Between my student loan, credit cards, cell phone, Netflix and now my insurance going up- I just don't know if I can do it. I had to empty my savings- including my travel account (which broke my heart. Now Europe is just that much further away) and I still don't know.

I need a second job for sure, but I don't know if I can even do that because my hours at the hospital are so sporadic. I am absolutely at a loss of what I can do. I don't know if I can back out of the car- or if I want to. I have only driven it for five minutes. Hardly time to really bond- and then not letting me take it home and be excited that I got a new car. Instead I get to come home and freak out. F.R.E.A.K. O.U.T. I tell you.

I am my own worst enemy. I am drowning myself. And I'm pretty sure I'll never be able to move out of my parent's basement.  I have a feeling that I am learning what a stroke feels like.

Obituary

Sunday, January 16, 2011 a good friend passed from this life.  Kermit the Car passed peacefully after a brief illness at exit 93 in Blackfoot, Idaho.  Kermit (Kermie, to his loved ones) was a source of joy to his friend, Heather.  They met in 2004 on a random car lot in Pocatello.  She took him home, named him, loved him and did everything she could to care for him, even in his already rather rickety state.   He had over 60,000 miles on him, but over the next six years together they added another 60,000 making several trips to Utah, moving to and from Aurora, Colorado, several trips to Colorado Springs and Denver. As well as commuting an hour each way almost five days a week for the last four months of his life.

Kermie was adorned with frog paraphernalia to help him feel at home and among friends. He was often filled with stuffed frogs that Heather had received from nieces. He was the shelter for many, many chats with friends. He knew all Heather's secrets and several secrets of her friends.  Kermie was there for her when friends would move away.  Together Heather and Kermie would take long drives and cry out the sad times.  He was there when Heather was angry and needed to run away.

In December, 2007 Kermie was in the most serious accident Heather had ever been involved in. She was not hurt, thankfully, but the same could not be said for Kermie.  Heather was on her way to pick up a friend in a snow storm when she slid off the road, hit Kermie's tire parallel to the curb and ripped the wheel off. Heather was afraid then that Kermie's time was at an end, but the Doctors at M&M in Aurora were able to fix him up and keep the medical bills at a surprising low. 

There have been a few doctor bills along the way, but Heather did her best to keep him in good repair, knowing how much they relied on each other.  Kermie needed her to keep him healthy, Heather needed him to get her to work and play.

Kermie wasn't always the cleanest car, but he was well loved.  He read all the same books heather read and took lunch break naps with her nearly every work day. He was a good car.  He will be very missed by his loved ones. He was 13 years old.

I'm Sensing a Theme

I've gotten myself into a very bad habit. Every night before I go to sleep I like to watch a show- be it a movie or a couple episodes of whatever show I can find on Netflix. I've run out of TV shows on there so I've graduated to movies- which means I stay up later because I start them late and I rarely have the gumption to stop a movie half-way through.

Anyway, last night I was browsing the "Feel Good" movie section of Netflix and came across a childhood favorite.

Super cheesy, I know, but still... I've always been fond of the the Frog Prince story. When it was over, it was still "early" (barely midnight) so I looked for another movie.  I came across this one:

I saw it when it came out in the theaters. It wasn't my favorite, but I thought it would be fun to theme my night (little did I realize what I was starting). While I watched the movie I was mucking up my room a little. As I was hanging clothes up and looking for something, I was rummaging through my sock drawer and came across this:

He makes kissy noises when you squeeze him. So I kissed him and set him on my nightstand. Then, when I crawled onto my bed to watch the rest of the movie, I grabbed a pillow- the little friend I sleep with every night. This guy:

It just struck me as funny.  After the movie (the only Disney movie that I'm not really a fan of, which is a shame because like I said, I love the story of the Frog Prince)  Anyway, my theme inadvertently carried into today when I got up and got dressed. Sometimes I like to close my eyes and pick a pair of socks so that they all have a fair chance to be worn.  Today I nearly died laughing when I opened my eyes and saw the pair of socks I chose.

I wonder what the universe is trying to tell me...?



Awww......

You know, I start a lot of blog posts. But then I read them and think they're stupid so I erase them.

Tonight I started three. They were all dumb so this is what you get instead.

Cutest. Baby. Ever.

Hap-------py New Year!

I am dying. I either have- or am developing- pneumonia. So this is how we celebrated the death of 2010 and the birth of 2011.



But as my sister so optimistically pointed out- I got one of the wishes on my list. I don't have to work on New Year's Day. Ten hours of time and a half? Be careful what you wish for- you just might get it.