I've never had a figure worth keeping, I'm rarely in control of anything around me and I look at my kitchen and wonder what my problem is. I don't have the three kids to blame it on. Heck, I don't have one to blame it on. The mess in there is one hundred percent my problem (we'll talk about the living room, bathroom and bedroom another day).
I blame it on life being a crazy collection of commitments that I've allowed myself to stumble in to. Girls camp was the first and foremost thing on my mind these days and no matter how much I try to put it behind me- it still won't go away. There still seems to be people who want the things back that they allowed us to borrow. What is wrong with you people? Can't you get along without your hammers, rakes and buckets for a couple of weeks till I get tired of lugging them around in my trunk and decide to give them back to you? Don't get me wrong. Girls camp was great. I especially loved when torrential rains huffed and puffed and my house made of Coleman Nylon came-a-tumblin' down. I would not have made a good 4th little pig. I'm glad it was my tent though and not a tent filled with six girls and all their crap. It was a lot easier to relocate one leader rather than six girls.
I learned some things about myself though:
- If you make me mad while I'm holding a bb gun, you're in trouble.
- If you make me mad while I'm holding a bow and arrow, the person NEXT to you is in trouble.
- I thrive on popularity. I loved it when I was in the lame-o skit but my girls yelled out, "We love you, Sister Baker!" I love being loved.
- I love showers and I miss them when I can't take them every morning.
- Camping rocks when you have professional Dutch Oven caterers preparing every meal
Then, I volunteered to make trays of brownies for their wedding reception which in and of itself was an adventure. Of the hundreds of batches of brownies I've made in my life these ones had me in such a dither. I was so set on everything being perfect. It was the first time I was doing something for a wedding with MY name behind it. I mean, I've made zillions of sheet cakes and stuff, but they all went to my Mom's credit. I had a few setbacks, but it all ended up well and they tasted good- at least no one died eating them.
I'm sure there have been other things that have occupied my mind. I mean, there's the constant guilt that I'm not doing enough with my five callings (one is gone now that camp is over- so there is one less thing to feel guilty about not doing). I don't make the visits I've been asked to make, I don't attend all the meetings I've been asked to attend. My meetings overlap with the choir that I've been asked to be a member of so I feel guilty if I go to my meetings instead of choir- so sometimes I just skip both and come home and take a nap, then feel guilty for wasting time. I haven't had time to work on my book which gnaws at my insides everyday. I haven't even made time to read my library book. I had to *gasp* renew it because it's been taking so long.
But- in spite of all this, I took time tonight to find my kitchen counters and sink. They are still there! I may have no control over anything or no figure to write home about, but by golly, I have a clean kitchen!